


Family Matters

by Neverperfectenough



Category: Hockey - Fandom, sutter
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 05:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 24,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20718770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverperfectenough/pseuds/Neverperfectenough





	1. Chapter 1

I don’t even know where to begin. My brother is Brody Sutter, my uncle is Darryl aka the head coach of the L.A. Kings, my cousin Brett plays hockey with Brody and my other cousin Brandon was a Hurricane and is now a Pittsburgh Penguin. Yes, you could say my family is all over the country. I am confident that I am in great hands in Charlotte. I’d rather not have to stay with my brother and cousin but it’s what our father wants. As you probably guessed, I come from the Sutter family. I got sent to Charlotte to keep an eye on Brody and Brett. Uncle Darryl and my dad didn’t give me much of a choice. Hell I think they told me that to make me feel better about moving here. When in reality, I was sent so they could keep an eye on me. I’m 17 and yes maybe Taylor Hall and I shouldn’t have done what we did, but he was going to be a Edmonton Oiler, and I still had to stay home or go on the road with my dad and I hated that.   
  


We had done the unthinkable..we got married, or well engaged. That is until Brody got smart and figured out what we were planning. Of course, being the fun ruining big brother he was, decided to tell dad. Needless to say, he freaked out. Therefore, forcing us to break things off, due to the fact that he controlled Taylor’s career and I couldn’t let him give up his career for me. So, here I am in the airport at Charlotte, trying to find Brody. He was picking me up. Honestly I would’ve been better off going to live with Uncle Darryl. My dad did the best he could with me, but he always was doing hockey stuff with Brody, so yes I rebelled a bit by dating and getting engaged to Hallsy.   
  


To be honest, I was still pissed at Brody for this whole thing. He’s the reason why I’m not happy. He’s the reason I had to give up the one thing in my life that made me happy. Maybe I was being selfish, because I knew my brother and my dad cared and loved me.   
  


“Bria, you ready to go? Hello, earth to Bria.” I knew right then it was Brody or Brett.    
  


They were the only ones in my family or anyone really to call me Bria.    
  


“Yeah I’m ready.” I sighed, walking towards the car.    
  


We drove in silence for half of the trip back to their apartment.   
  


“Dad’s doing this for you, you know. It’s not fair to you that you are always on your own and he is never home.” I knew where this was going and there was no way Brody was going to tell me what to do.    
  


“No Brody he isn’t. He can’t stand to look at me! You and I both know it’s because I look like mom! Ever since I was five it’s been that way. Don’t fucking tell me you didn’t notice! He spent his whole time either at work or with you at the rink.” I was fuming.   
  


"Bria that’s not even fair! It killed him every night that he couldn’t spend time with you."   
  
"Yeah okay so his only solution is to fucking send me away so my brother and cousin can look after me?! AND break me and my boyfriend up? No, that’s not even relatively fair to me! You always got what you wanted. Dad’s time. With you at the rink! I’m surprised he even noticed when I ran away to Uncle Brent’s.”   
  
“Taylor was no good for you anyways! You deserve better!” I could tell this was never-ending.    
  
“And I suppose by better you mean one of your teammates so you can keep an eye on us?!”I was so frustrated.    
  
“I don’t want to fight with you Brody. Yes I am still mad at you ratting me out to dad, and I’m pissed as hell at dad for sending me here. I don’t think dad can look at me ever again.” They pulled into the parking lot.    
  
“Look, forget about everything. This is your chance to start over.” I smiled softly, knowing he was right. Sometimes being the baby sucked, but knowing my brother would be there for me made me realize how lucky I am.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

Once I got settled, I decided to order in and the boys went out. Of course this meant the boys coming home drunk. I’d gone to bed early and I heard the boys come in, They aren’t the quietest bunch and looking at my clock, I was pissed. It was 3am, and the boys come in like no one else is there. So, I walk out of my room screaming.    
  


“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?! THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS APARTMENT! GET TO BED BEFORE I KILL YOU!” I laid awake in my new room, not able to sleep after that. I was thankful they didn’t bring home pucksluts.    
  


The next morning, I went to the boys rooms and put tylonel and water on their nightstands, knowing full well they would have a hangover. I began to make them breakfast.   
  


“I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you little sis?” I heard Brody tell me.    
  


“Well if you weren’t hungover and coming home oh I don’t know at 3 IN THE MORNING! You could take care of me.” I rolled my eyes and went back to making pancakes.   
  
“Go get Brett up. You boys need breakfast. And don’t you dare think that everytime you get trashed I’m going to take care of you.” They both nodded.    
  


“We don’t want you to take care of us. We’ve been doing this long before you came.” I knew Brett didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, I mean I grew up with him but damn.    
  


“So when do I get to meet the guys?” I asked curiously, just trying to get under Brody’s skin.    
  


“Never. You’re not going near our team Brianne.” I knew it was too good to last, whenever Brody or anyone for that matter used my full name it meant they were serious, or I was in trouble.    
  


“Why not? I came here for a fresh start and I need a guy who loves hockey and won’t be with me because of our last name Brody. You know how it was in high school for me.”   
  


* **Flashback** *   
  


I had been a freshman and everyone knew I was a Sutter. Which meant I was popular, much to my dismay. I didn’t want to be popular. I had to think about my dad and my brother. Unfortunately I had to grow up fast. After mom died I had to take care of them. By the time I could cook on my own, Brody was getting ready to leave. I loved my brother and missed him when he was gone. It had gotten lonely in the house whenever my dad was on trips. Of course that is before I went off the deep end for a bit. I had a stage of where I was sneaking into the house, mostly because when dad was gone I didn’t have to sneak in. I was smoking cigarettes and yes drinking.   
  
I knew Brody would be disappointed but he wasn’t home. A big part of me acting out was because I missed my big brother. He was all I knew. With our dad being gone a lot, and without a mom, it was hard. I hardly slept the night that Brody left for Charlotte and cried the whole night. My dad tried to help console me, but it didn’t help. I had made friends with the wrong people. They didn’t like hockey which I could ignore but they got me into smoking and drinking. I had gone out to a party and had been drinking and of course smelled like smoke.   
  
“Brianne Danielle Sutter!” I heard as soon as I got home and I knew my dad was home. I thought he was going to be home late.   
  


“Dad, your home?” I ask questionly.    
  


“Your damn right I’m home! Now where the hell have you been? And you’ve been drinking and smoking haven’t you?”   
  


‘shit I’m screwed’ I thought to myself.    
  


“So what? It’s not like you care anyways!” I turned to go to my room and of course he followed.    
  


“That’s not fair and you know it! Yes it’s hard for me to even look at you but that’s because you’re the spitting image of your mom.”    
  


“You’re hardly here! I can’t play hockey like you and Brody, and yes I miss him.”    
  


“That’s no excuse! You’re grounded for a month. You go with me on the road and that’s final!” He got up and left.    
  


I was left sitting on my bed, crying. So I did the only thing I knew, called my Uncle Darryl.   
  


***end of flashback*** **   
  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Besides Brody and Brett, he was the one I was closest with. Lord only knows why, because for the love of me I can’t figure it out. Anyways he told me that my dad really wants to include me but can’t with me being a teenage girl and him dealing with boys. He’s afraid I’ll get hurt if I date one of them, which is another thing. He won’t let me date whatsoever.   
  


“Alright, I’ll try to talk to my dad, but I need to do things on my own without him being all protective of me. That’s why I have Brody, Brett and Brandon.” I listened to Uncle Darryl some more and knew he had to get going.   
  


“Kill it in the finals Uncle Darryl. I love you.” 

He chuckled. “Alright will do, love you too Brie.”   
  
After talking to my dad, we tried to do things together. I went with him to a scouting thing, and that’s when I met Taylor Hall. We hit it off right away. Because of who I was, we decided to keep our relationship under wraps. Recalling the night that Taylor proposed, he had come over and picked me up.    
  


* **Flashback** *   
  


We went for a night walk, under the stars after dinner. He knelt down on one knee and said “I know we’ve been together for a few months, but it seems like a lifetime. I didn’t know I could feel this way. You bring out the best man I can be off the ice and make me want to work harder on the ice. I love you Brianne. Will you be my wife?” I started tearing up instantly.   
  


“Yes Taylor, I’ll marry you.” That night we decided why wait? So we hopped on a plane, okay my dad’s plane and went to Vegas.   
  
It wasn’t the ideal situation but we couldn’t wait to be married. Yes, I had just turned 17, but we thought it was better to get married now, then to wait when he had a full blown NHL schedule. Of course the airport security called my brother, after I begged them not to, and in turn, my brother told my dad. I only knew my dad knew because my Uncle Darryl met us at the hotel, and I knew for a fact my dad didn’t know unless Brody opened his mouth. Needless to say I was pissed at Brody and didn’t speak to him until he left for Charlotte. Taylor and I had discussed ‘us’ and although neither of us wanted to break things off, we knew it was for the best. And that would be why I went off the deep end.   
  
***end of flashback*** **   
**   
Obviously talking to my dad didn’t help, which is why I’m in Charlotte now. I had a small smile on my face for the first time since Taylor and I almost got married.   
  


“You’re thinking of Hallsy aren’t you?” Brett asked me, like it was THAT obvious.    
  


“Yeah so? It’s not like we are getting back together. We all know what happened last time we did. I won’t put him through that again, plus he has his career. I won’t get in the way of that.” I sighed, getting up and putting my plate in the sink, I suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore. Brody began to open his mouth.   
  


“Yes I still have feelings for him, and miss him like crazy.” And with that, I walked to my room and shut the door.   
  
Last time we had tried getting back together, I was really trying to be the good girl I once was. I knew with Taylor I could possibly be that happy teenager that he knew, that my family knew. I was scared that he would leave me for a puck slut. One night I had a breakdown, and started drinking to the point where I was drunk. I got in my car, and had to swarve and hit a guard rail. Resulting in me ending up in the hospital with a concussion and us not knowing if I’d be okay again. I shook that image of a nightmare out of my head. There was no way in hell I was going back to that girl, nor would I ever put Taylor through it. He was so worried about me that his game suffered. We all saw it. I broke up with him so he could focus on his game. I wasn’t about to let him lose his career over me.   
  


‘Someone hit me in the head so I forget these nightmares’ I said to myself silently. I knew how the boys would react if I said what I was really thinking.   
  
_ ‘Dear diary, _ _   
_ _ Today is my first day in Charlotte. As of right now, I’d rather be back in Alberta, Canada with my dad. At least I had a little leeway. With Brody, I feel like I am ten years old again. At least I haven’t met any of the Checkers yet. Lord knows what would happen if I happen to become attracted to one of the Checkers. I love my brother and my cousin but sometimes I need to be on my own. I just wish I got another concussion so maybe just maybe I won’t remember anything and I can truly start over. Hmm that’s not a bad idea. I’m heading out to the rink.’ _ __   
  



	4. Chapter 4

I ‘borrowed’ Brody’s stick and hockey bag, and took a cab to the arena. I set everything up and started shooting pucks in the net. After puck shooting, I decided to skate a few laps and do a few drills that I remember watching Brody do. I hadn’t noticed anyone else was in the arena, until I heard skate blades on the ice, and I knew it wasn’t me, since I was sitting on the ice, thinking. 

Apparently I looked like I had fallen because next thing I knew, a Charlotte Checker had skated over to me asking if I was alright.    
  


“Yeah I’m fine. I was just taking a break.” I smiled softly before getting up.    
  


“Would you like to shoot some pucks with me?” He asked as he helped me up.    
  


“Uh sure."I knew if the guys caught me, I’d be in trouble but it was worth the risk.   
  


“I’m Brianne Sutter. And yes before you say anything, I’m the little sister of Brody and cousin of Brandon and Brett.” I smiled slightly.   
  


“I’m Brett Bellemore. So you want to show me what you got?”   
  


I smiled, and skated towards center ice. “I like you already. Thank you for not making a big deal out of me being a Sutter. I hate that.”   
  


I really did hate it, most people see me as Brody’s kid sister, or the baby cousin of Brett and Brandon or want to get close to me because of my dad or Uncle Darryl.   
  


“Don’t worry that won’t happen here, and if they do they’re either joking or you have the right to beat the shit out of them” Brett smirked.    
  


“Good to know.. so I just moved into their apartment and they don’t know I’m here, would you mind giving me a ride home?” I asked him, smiling softly.   
  
After I got off the ice, I had a ton of texts from Brody and Brett. Things like ‘where the fuck are you? You stole me hockey stuff?!’ ‘you are in big trouble’ ‘call me now!’ you know the usual from the guys.    
  


I called Brody and yes, he was pissed.   
  


“Relax, I went to the rink and skated. Bellemore is driving me home.” I could hear Brody’s frustration

“Like hell he is. I’m coming down there and getting you. This isn’t over.” And with that, he hung up the phone.    
  


“Shit” I said underneath my breath, hoping no one heard me. I was wrong.   
  


“Sutter pissed?” Bellemore asked as he sat next to me. I only nodded is silence.    
  


“Brody’s coming here to get me. Ugh I love my brother but times like this I want to ring his neck. I can’t do shit without him flipping out.”   
  
Brody picked me up and we had a long ride home.    
  


“Brianne you can’t go somewhere without me knowing. Suppose something happened to you at the rink? And Bellemore wasn’t there?” I sighed knowing once again he was right.    
  


“I know. I’m sorry. I just..sometimes I need to do my own thing.” Brody nodded.    
  


“I know. I wasn’t mad that you took my hockey stuff, I was more frustrated that you left without a word. Try not to do it again.”   
  


Once again my big brother was right but he didn’t understand I was seventeen and needed to be on my own. I knew he was trying to protect me, but I wasn’t ten anymore.   
  
If there was one thing I hated, it was being told what to do. For some reason, Brody had this bright idea to drag me to practice. At least I had my ipod and diary. I’ve never gotten along with the WAGs, and I probably never will. Of course with me being only seventeen, it was harder. Not to mention I was there with my dad or brother, never for a boyfriend.   
  
_ ‘Days like these made me wish I’d gotten involved in hockey. Not that anyone in the family would let me even think about being in the NHL. Yes, I knew the fundamentals and everything, I just didn’t play. I left that up to Brody and our cousins. And now Brody’s shooting pucks at me, At least there’s glass in between.’ _ I felt my phone go off, and went out to answer it.    
  


“Hello?” I didn’t recognize the number, but I recognized the area code.    
  


‘Why would anyone call me from Pittsburgh if it wasn’t Brandon?’   
  



	5. Chapter 5

"Hi, Brianne? This is Kris..uhh Kris LeTang.”  
  


I had to think about it, did I even know a Kris LeTang? Then it clicked, he played with Brandon.   
  


“Is Brandon alright?” was my first question, since I had no idea why anyone whom I’d met once, after a game I had gone to, to watch Brandon play, would be calling me.  
  


“Yes he’s fine. I was..hoping maybe you’d like to go out with me?” I still had no clue why Kris would call me, if I’d met him once.  
  


Then I heard some guys, Brandon included, had been yelling in the background.  
  


“Look Kris we hardly know each other, and I know my cousin put you up to this. I was hoping we could start by being friends and getting to know each other?” Why Brandon would do this for me was beyond me, but hey I’d take it.   
  


“Of course, I’d like that.” We talked for a few more minutes and then I had to get back into the arena before Brody had another one of his ‘protective older brother’ moods.  
  
I felt so much better after talking to Kris. I’m not sure what had coime over me. Normally, when I talked to a guy it was nothing, but with Kris, I felt something. It was like I could be me, and not have to worry about my past or my family name getting in the way of what Kris and I could have. Yes, there was a bit of an age difference, and honestly I believe if Brandon didn’t think it could work between us, then he wouldn’t try to set us up. I just had to hide this from Brody for now. The one rule my dad had was that I couldn’t date any of HIS players or prospects. Kris was neither, so I knew my dad would be on board.  
  
“Hi daddy.” By the sound of it, my dad was surprised that I called, let alone called him daddy. We hadn’t left on the best of terms.   
  


“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” In all honesty, I loved my dad, didn’t matter if he was harder on me or not. He was doing the best he could.  
  


“It’s okay sweetie, I know I may have been over reacting on the whole thing with Hall. I just knew you could do much better.” He had a hint in his voice that maybe he already knew about Kris asking me out.  
  


“Brandon talked to you first didn’t he?” Leave it to Brandon to ask my dad’s permission to even set me up in a relationship before even talking to me about it.  
  
“Brody’s being extra protective. I mean I love him and all but damn I need my space and to get to know the area without him. He isn’t going to be around, what with all the road trips the Checkers have.” I never thought my dad and I would get along again, and I’m greatful for it.   
  


“Bria you know he’s making sure nothing bad happens but..” I cut him off.   
  


“But when he finds out about Kris, he’s going to go all ape shit. Which he won’t until the Cup is won.” After a few more minutes of chitchat, we ended the call and I was happy my dad approved of Kris.


	6. Chapter 6

I loved watching the boys play hockey. Kris and I were getting along really well, skyping after games and texting constantly. Brody had found out about Kris and I at least talking and figured we would eventually date. Oddly enough, he was okay with it. I hated when I couldn’t watch Kris’ games because Brody had a game. It happened more times then I wanted it too. I’m guessing since Brandon set us up that that was why Brody was okay with the idea of Kris and I.  
  
Kris apparently had a few days off. I was blasting Luke Bryan’s ‘Country Girl (Shake it for me)’ and yes I was shaking my ass, unaware that Brett had let Kris inside. I stopped as soon as I saw him. He had his famous smirk.  
  


“Keep going. That was cute.” I think I turned as red as a tomato.  
  


“You weren’t even supposed to see that.” I turned off the music and ran to hug him.   
  


“Yeah Bria, I’m scarred for life now” I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at Brett.  
  


“Don’t you have practice or something?” I asked Kris.   
  


“Yes but Suttsy’s covering..” I cut him off.   
  


“You better not get Brandon in trouble LeTang!” I said sternly, joking with him. He knew I was half joking.   
  


“Relax Brie, Dan knows I’m here. It’s fine. I couldn’t go any longer without seeing you in person.”  
  
I smiled, and melted in his arms. Kris was so sweet and I didn’t know what I did to deserve this but I have him, even though we aren’t official, it’s inevitable. We hadn’t seen each other since we had met in February, when the Penguins came to Raleigh. Brody, Brett, and I had gone up to Raleigh to watch Brandon play.  
  
“Brandon, why would you do this?” I called my cousin. We never really got along.   
  


“You deserve to be happy. After everything. I’m not dumb, I could tell you liked Kris. Although it took me forever to get it out of Tanger that he liked you.” I had to laugh, Kris was never one to hide things.   
  


“Thanks Brandon. I’m thinking of a trip to Pittsburgh soon.”  
  
“Shit.” I said under my breath, hoping Kris hadn’t heard me.  
  


“What’s wrong babe?” I took a deep breath.  
  


“I need to tell Skinner. He became my best friend.” I met him when Brett had been called up to the Hurricanes.   
  


“So tell him. I don’t want to hide us anymore.” I bit my lip.  
  


“Us? I like that” I guess we are official.  
  


I had gone up to Pittsburgh for a bit to visit Brandon and Kris, and also to go to the playoffs. We were all devastated by the shutdown by the Bruins in the Conference Finals. Honestly I had dealt with this kind of loss with Brody, so I knew to stay out of the way of Kris.  
  


“Bria, what if..” I looked at him.  
  


“Don’t even finish that sentence Kristopher Allen LeTang. You love this team, Dan, and the whole organization. You’re not getting traded. And even if you do who cares? I’ll still support you. Hell you could quit right now and work a 9-5 job and I’d still want you.” He sighed knowing I was right.  
  


“I don’t want to go anywhere else.”  
  


I hated thinking Kris was going to be playing anywhere but the Penguins. Honestly I’d follow him anywhere. My brother luckily was going to be on the Charlotte Checkers for another two seasons, I couldn’t say the same for our cousin Brett. All we hoped was that he would sign with the Checkers again. I don’t know what I’d do if everyone I loved was going to be split up. It was bad enough Brandon wasn’t down in Carolina anymore, and Kris was in Pittsburgh for now. Who the hell knows where he would end up if not with the Penguins next season. Hell he had one season left on his contract so no matter what happened, he would at least still be a Penguin for another season.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day I was ecstatic when we found out Brett had signed a year contract with the Checkers. That meant we would be together in one city. Most of us Sutter cousins anyways. Then it happened. I was not ready for this next rumor and if it was to come true, I’d be happy but knew Kris wouldn’t be. It was that this was another Jordan Staal trade. That Kris could get traded to Carolina. Yes, I should be happy because we would be closer, but I knew he wanted to stay a Penguin for life, and I wanted him too. He was happy up in Pittsburgh.   
  
There were a crap-ton of rumors going around, and believe me when I tell you I hated it. Only I knew what Kris wanted, and that was to stay a Penguin. We never went into detail as to what that entailed but I was hoping they could come to an agreement. I couldn’t take much more of this. To be honest I don’t think Kris could either.   
  


“Come on babe let’s get out of here for a few days. I know you could use a break.” Kris just sat there. It was like he was here physically, but mentally was on another planet. I knew this was hard on him, wondering what would happen.   
  
Well the draft came and went. But not after the devastating news of TK being traded. I loved Tyler like a brother. I was taking it really hard. I mean everytime that I missed him, I’d watch the videos of Kris and Ty doing the weather. Now, I couldn’t even watch it nor look at pictures of Tyler especially not on Tuesdays. It has been at least two weeks and it was still too soon, even though the video had Kris also. The best news was the news Kris told me. Ray Shero and Kris agreed to an eight year deal. That meant he was going to be Penguin for nine more years. Kris was ecstatic and so was I even if it meant we still had to do the long distance thing.   
  
I just needed to know that the Checkers team was going to remain the same and that Kris and I were going to make it. I didn’t want to have console my brother and my cousin, especially if I had to console Kris all in the same night. That wouldn’t be fun. It was mid July and everyone was anxious to get back to hockey. We had almost the whole team back, and by that I mean the Checkers. We just had to sign Boychuk and Dalpe. I was a little sad when we found out we weren’t going to have Muse anymore but we still got Murphy. Hell I was ecstatic when we got Bellemore back. He was my best friend on the Checkers.   
  
Kris, on the other hand, was a different story. We had talked a lot about what would happen since I had to stay down in Charlotte with Brett and Brody. If there was one thing we agreed on, it was that we wanted to be together. We knew that the NHL had agreed that there would be an Olympic break and that the boys would participate. I left my phone on the table beside my bed and went to take a shower. When I got out, got dressed and ringed my hair out of the excess water, I looked at my phone.    
  


‘damn, ten missed phone calls.’ My stomach dropped..it was Kris.   
  


So I called him back, frantically.    
  


“Hello?” Kris answered.    
  


“Omg Kris, are you alright? I was in the shower and didn’t hear my phone! Please tell…” He cut me off.    
  


“I’m fine. Great actually.”   
  


“Then why the fuck did you call me ten times?!”   
  
“Well…I’m an invitee on Team Canada. I wanted to tell you before you saw it.” I couldn’t believe it. I screamed.   
  


“Ahh!! That is awesome babe! I’m so happy for you. You’ll do great and make the team. I’ll be right beside you, every step of the way. Oh hey babe can I call you back? I have to dry my hair.”   
  


I had a plan of surprise. Yes, I was staying in Calgary with my dad, and brother, and Kris was in Quebec. As soon as I booked my flight to Quebec, I immediately called Marc-Andre. I hatched a plan.   
  



	8. Chapter 8

“Hey I’m flying up to Quebec tonight. Keep Kris distracted, and have Vero pick me up at the airport and drop me off at Kris’. Oh and don’t let him get too trashed?” I shook my head knowing Flower would let him get trashed.    
  


“Of course. Don’t worry Brie I’ll take care of it. Just text me the time you’ll be landing.”    
  


“Thanks I owe you.” And with that, I had to pack.    
  


As I was packing Brody came into my room.   
  


“Dad wants us to go out to… what are you doing?” I sighed, knowing I was going to have trouble.   
  


“What did dad want us to do?” I didn’t face him.   
  


“Dinner. He said he wanted to talk to us..you didn’t answer my question.” I knew I couldn’t avoid it with Brody.   
  


“I’ll go to dinner but I’m going to Quebec tonight. Vero’s picking me up from the airport.”    
  


I turned to him and then back to packing. I was going to pack an outfit I’d be hiding, but I couldn’t grab it until Brody left. He’d have a shit fit.    
  


“No you’re not. Even if I have to babysit you myself!” Brody yelled low enough so dad wouldn’t hear us. I had no intention of letting my dad know any of my plans.    
  


“Whatever Bria, be ready for dinner at 5!” and with that he walked out and slammed the door. I grabbed the VS bag that I had hidden in my closet that I had brought when I went shopping with Vero that no one knew I had but her.   
  
Dinner was interesting to say the least. My dad decided to drop the bombshell of all bombshell’s on us…He was dating again. Dad introduced us to his girlfriend. Needless to say I was NOT happy. I played nice, and my dad knew I wasn’t myself. The only thing that saved me, was the fact that I was surprising Kris. We got home, and started to storm upstairs.    
  


“Brianne we have to talk! Get down here!” I rolled my eyes and walked downstairs.    
  


“What dad?!” I yelled, standing up, not sitting on the couch. Brody was sitting next to where I was.   
  
“I know the wheels were turning in your head. So say what you have to say.” My dad said calmly.   
  


“What am I? well let’s see I think it’s stupid dad! You’re replacing mom, whom I’ve NEVER known and you both refuse to talk about her! I won’t let you replace mom!” I glared at them.   
  


It was true though, both dad and Brody refused to talk about mom.   
  


“That’s not even fair!”    
  


“No dad what’s not fair is that I barely remember my mother! I’m done!” And with that I stormed upstairs, texted Hallsy, and told him to pick me up immediately.   
  


I didn’t even care if Ebs or RNH were with him. I knew it would be another hour before Taylor got there since they were in Edmonton. I didn’t have friends in Calgary and didn’t know who else to call.   
  
I heard a knock on my door and I didn’t want to talk to them.    
  
“Brie? Open up. It’s Lukas.” I had no clue Lukas was coming over.    
  


“Hey…come in.” I smiled softly. I had only guessed Brody had called Lukas and told him what had just happened.   
  


“You know you can’t hate your dad. He’s happy.” I wasn’t having any of it.   
  


“Look it’s sweet that you came over but I’m not changing my mind Lukas.” Hallsy texted me telling me that they were in the driveway.    
  


"I have to go..” I picked up my bags and walked downstairs.    
  


“Where do you think you’re going?” Asked my dad.   
  


“Out. I’ll be home next week.”    
  


“I don’t think so. Don’t you walk out…” I slammed the door and ran to the car.   
  
“So I don’t hear from you since we broke up and now you need me to get you? What’s going on?” I knew this was coming.   
  


“Taylor, look I didn’t want to break up with you. You know I loved you and always will. But you couldn’t put your career on hold for me. I was forced to cut all ties with you. But my dad doesn’t know I still kept your number hidden. I had a fight with dad. I’m leaving. I need you to take me to the airport. I’m going to see Kris…umm Kris LeTang.”   
  
I knew that would open old wounds.   
  


“What?!” Taylor was mad.   
  


“Look, I knew shit would happen if we got back together. You know that! I love you Tay, and always will but I can’t be with you. My dad controls your career, I won’t let that happen.” Somehow I knew I couldn’t get through this ride without someone being upset.    
  


“I was willing to sacrifice..” I cut him off.    
  


“I know Taylor, but you would’ve been unhappy with your career. Whatever it may be if it wasn’t hockey. I couldn’t let you do that when I have ties to the NHL.” Taylor was stubborn, and somehow I had forgotten about it.    
  


“Look, I’m sorry Taylor. It’s just hard because the one constant in my life was taken from me. And now, I have something good for now and I’d like it if we stayed in contact.” I sighed.   
  
“Of course. You’ll always be in my life Brie. Your dad can’t keep us apart or at least from seeing each other, and neither can Brody.” And with that, I boarded the plane, and was off to see Kris.    
  


What seemed like forever, I was off the plane and got to baggage claim and found Vero.   
  


“Hey. Thanks for picking me up” I smiled as we walked to the car.   
  


“So I assume you brought what you bought in Pittsburgh?” I nodded.   
  


“So what does Flower have planned for him and Kris while I’m getting everything ready?” Vero rolled her eyes, and that gave me a hint.   
  


“Let me guess a guys night out at a bar” She nodded hesitated.   
  


“With Max?” By her reaction I knew I was right.   
  


“Great…Maxie you better not get my boyfriend trashed!” I thought to myself. I knew I couldn’t text him, as he would give it away.   
  
I had gotten to Kris’ and thanked Vero for the ride and for keeping it a secret. I decided I’d take his BMW to go get some groceries to cook dinner. I was just finished up the pasta when I heard Kris. Obviously he wasn’t expecting me.    
  


“Hello?” He had a hockey stick in his hand.    
  


“Who are you and why are you cooking in my kitchen?” He walked cautiously.   
  


“Do you realize how wrong that sounded.” I said as I walked out in nothing but his shirt.   
  


"Damn baby don’t scare me. I almost fucking hit you with a hockey stick!!” He put his stick down and his lips crashed with mine.   
  


“I wanted to surprise you. I’m so proud of you. And I couldn’t have done it without Marc-Andre and Vero. I had no clue Max was going with you, until Vero said something earlier.” I smiled.    
  


“I cooked you dinner. I figured Marc-Andre would take you to a bar.”   
  
I knew my happiness wasn’t going to last long. My dad knew I called Taylor. Hallsy at least warned me before my dad called.    
  


“Brianne! Get your ass back to Calgary!” I sat up and rolled my eyes.   
  


“No! why would I? You can’t even look at me, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been since Taylor and how dare you threaten his career?” I was fuming.   
  


I could tell by the look on Kris’ face I hadn’t told him about Taylor.   
  


“I did it for you! You think Hall could give you a good life?” I was about to punch a wall.    
  


“Yes and even if I was married to him now I’d be fine and happy but no you fucking ruined that. You’re not about to ruin my relationship with Kris!” I hung up the phone and threw it across the room.   
  
“Who’s Taylor?” I sighed, knowing this was coming. Actually I was hoping never.    
  


“Hallsy. Long story short, we met while he was recruited by my dad. We started dating, and got engaged, were going to get married but my brother and dad got in the way. Dad threatened his career and I wouldn’t let him lose everything he’s worked for, just for me.” I couldn’t look at him, afraid of what Kris was about to say.    
  


“So? He’s your ex. And you’re obviously still friends. That doesn’t matter.” I sat there in shock.    
  


“You’re not angry with me?” Kris shook his head.   
  


“All that matters is that he didn’t hurt my girl and he helped you tonight. Come on, let’s watch a movie and forget everything.” I nodded, of course it wasn’t hard to do, seeing as how I kind of maybe broke my phone, throwing it at the wall?   
  
As in, there was no way I’d be hearing from dad, or Brody tonight. Although, if Brandon gave them Kris’ number to them that’d be different. However, I don’t think he would be that stupid to ruin how happy I was, considering he was the one who set us up.   
  


“Calm down babygirl. They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.” He kissed my temple. Kris had a way of calming me down that not even Taylor could do. I guess it was his accent, and the sound of his voice.   
  
As my intuition is, I was unfortunately correct. We…or I was awaken by a hard, loud banging. I rolled my eyes knowing exactly who it was. Kris slept like a rock, which in this case is good. “What the fuck do you want?!”   



	9. Chapter 9

I opened the door, not even looking at my dad, who brought Brody.   
  


“You’re coming with us!” Brody grabbed my arm.   
  


“Brody get off me! I’m not going anywhere!”   
  


“Like hell you aren’t!” Brody had a death grip on me.    
  


“Get off her!” Little did I know Kris was behind me, trying to pull me away. I should’ve known he would’ve called Flower and Max.    
  


“Vousallez bien mon amour?” (are you alright my love?)    
  


“Oui” (yes).   
  


I had been learning French so I could communicate with Kris better. His English was good, but I wanted to be able to talk to him in his native language.    
  


“I’m going to KILL Brandon! I know it was him who told you where Kris lived! I’m not leaving!” I folded my arms, whispering to Kris in French.    
  


“Je suisdésolé pour tout cela.” (I’m sorry about all of this). “C'est bon.” (its okay).   
  
“Pas de Kris, je pars.” (No Kris, I’m leaving). I stood up, accepting defeat.   
  


I knew I wouldn’t win against my dad and older brother, even if I had Kris, Max and Marc-Andre on my side.    
  


“Commel'enfervousêtes! Je teprotégerai.” (Like hell you are! I’ll protect you). Kris and I started yelling in French, which only Marc-Andre and Max could understand our conversation.   
  


“Kris, je ne peux pas.” (Kris, I cant..) I stood up and ran for Kris’ room, slammed the door and sunk down in the corner, crying. Little did I know, Kris would come after me. 

“Come on, let me in babe.” Kris kept knocking. I gave in and let him in. He instantly pulled me into a hug.   
  


“çavaaller. Je te le promets.” (it’ll be okay I promise.) He kissed my forehead.    
  


“Kris, you deserve better, you shouldn’t have to deal with my drama. I can’t put you through this anymore.” I started packing my things.    
This was the last thing I wanted, but with everything that was about to go down at home, and the new season, Kris couldn’t focus on me, it would affect his game. I knew it would. And I refused to let it.   
  


"Fuck!” I screamed.    
  


“What happened? Are you okay?” I shook my head, sobbing into his chest as his arms engulfed me.    
  


“This is what they want. More my dad though. This is JUST like the Taylor thing. It’s hard to explain but trust me Kris.” I continued to sob.   
Why would they do this? Don’t they want me happy?    
  


“Machérierien ne va nous faire du mal.” (my darling nothing will hurt us.) He whispered and rubbed circles on my back.   
  
“Kris, you’re the best thing to happen to me in a while. I care for you a lot and I can’t let you throw everything you’ve worked so hard for away. Your dream.” Kris was still holding me. He cupped my face in his hands.    
  


“None of that matters ma chérie. My dream has changed. My dream is with you, and a houseful of kids.” He sighed.    
  


"Look, go with them, do what you have to do. I’ll be here. Always.” With thatI got up and left.   
  


Needless to say, I was giving my dad and Brody the silent treatment.As soon as I got home, I barricaded myself in my room. I had no intentions of talking to them until Brody and I left for Charlotte. So, I resorted to my old ways….I swore no matter what I wouldn’t resort to my old ways. Luckily I had a bathroom in my room. I took my razor blades and started cutting again. I was brought out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. I knew it was Kris because my phone ringtone for him is ‘Cruise’ by Florida Georgia Line.   
  
“Hello.” I quickly wiped my eyes trying to sound normal.   


“Open your window.” Kris instructed, and I did, only to see him….shit.   
  


“Kris, what are you doing here?” I asked him, and then realizing I was still bloody.    
  


“Nevermind me, why are you bleeding?” I slowly backed up and ran to the bathroom. I knew I had to clean up and hide everything. Unfortunately he got to the bathroom before I could close the door.    
  


“What the fuck?! Are you cutting!” Kris was furious.   
  


“Vousê tesfou” (you’re insane).    
  


“Kris, English please! And let me fucking explain.” He walked out and sat on my bed. I didn’t care if I bled everywhere.   
  


“Kris, listen to me. There’s a past that you don’t know about, that no one knows about. I used to cut. My mom died when I was young, and my dad never paid attention to me when it mattered and I felt like I was a burden and the boys would be better off.” I started crying.    
  


“The words that I had engraved in my head, I kept playing over and over again.”   
  
I got up, but he grabbed my arm. “Keep going while I clean you up.” I smiled softly, and nodded my head.   
  


“Well yesterday I had those thoughts again, and well I started again. I’m not a child and…” I was cut off by him kissed my forehead.    
  


“Don’t. You need to stop. You’re beautiful and you’re not a burden to anyone. You have to promise me you’ll stop.” I nodded.    
  


“I’ll try. I thought I was better..until today. Everything came back to me and I tried not to think about it, and again I thought you’d be better without me Kris.” I sobbed and buried my head in his chest.   
  


“Brianne, if anything, I’m better with you. My game is better and I’m happier.” I looked up at him, not believing it.   
  


“You better not be lying to me Kristopher!” At least Kris and I didn’t have a blowout.    
  


I just had to worry about my dad. Just when I thought dad and I were good again.    
  


“Babe stay here. I need to talk to dad.”   
  



	10. Chapter 10

I knocked on my dad’s office door.   
  


“Daddy can we talk?” He nodded, signaling me to come in.    
  


I waited until he got off the phone, with whomever he was talking to.    
  


“Dad I’m sorry. I went about everything the wrong way. I was so mad that you didn’t even clue Brody or I in on the fact that you were dating.” He nodded, motioning for me to go on.    
  


“I know that I shouldn’t have run away to Kris’ but I was so confused. You drop the bombshell on me without a warning and expect me to be okay with it. I’m not dad. She’s not my mother.” I had to try not to yell, I wanted to be civil and be good with my dad again.    
  


“You’re right, I should’ve told you sooner. I love you, but it’s hard to look at you because..you look exactly like your mom. It kills me to see you, because she was as beautiful as you. I’ll try to work on that. But you ran away, and you’re still seventeen, so for that you’re grounded until you and Brody leave for Charlotte.” I was tearing at the thought of my mom.    
  


“Alright. Seems fair.”   
  


“And that means no phone, and you’ll be leaving only to either go to your cousins or out with me or Brody.” I sighed, turning my phone off and handing it to him.    
  


“Okay dad.” I got up and went to my room.   
  
Walking into my room, I looked at Kris, not knowing what he was reading. It was then that she realized what it was.   
  


“Kris, I can explain that… Yes, I write a diary, when I feel necessary. I haven’t since we met, as you can tell the last entry was the day we started talking.. It helps me not cut.” I sighed, grabbing it from him.    
  


“You really don’t want a concussion Brie. It’s not fun.” He sighed, looking up at me.    
  


“My dad took my phone away and I’m grounded until I go back to Carolina.” I sat in his lap.   
  


“Here, take mine. I can get another one.” I looked at Kris like he had three heads.    
  


“No, I can’t take your phone. Plus you have to leave for the orientation camp for the Olympics.” Of course it was Kris LeTang, and he insisted I take it.   
  


“Fine but tell your boys I have your phone. I don’t need it going off every five minutes. I can only use it in my room and secretly.” Kris chuckled and nodded.    
  


“Will do babe.”   
  
‘Now, how the hell am I going to talk to Kris on the phone so I don’t get caught?’ I thought to myself.    
  


“As much as I don’t want you to go, you should before someone catches you in here. Kill it at the orientation.” I smiled softly, as Kris pulled me into a kiss.    
  


Kris was at the Olympic orientation camp in Calgary, which if dad wasn’t being so strict, I’d be there. Everything came rushing back. That’s when I lost it.    
  


“AHHHH” I screamed in frustration. I took my phone into the bathroom with me.    
  


“Kris, I can’t do this. I care a lot about you, but you don’t need to be distracted. In fact, everyone is better off.” I knew he was at a golfing thing until tonight.    
  


I took some of my depression pills, and started cutting. Honestly I thought I was the only one home. I left my doors open..Guess not.   
  
The next thing I knew, I was waking up to machines beeping and IV’s in my arm.    
  


“Brody?” I managed to say.    
  


“Bria… thank God you’re okay.” He got up and sat on the bed.    
  


“Bria, you passed out. Scared me to death. We’ll talk when we get home.” I only nodded, as I was still weak.    
  


“Kris…” I managed to choke out, crying knowing I left him a message.    
  


“He wanted to come, but we both knew you’d kick his ass for not staying, knowing he could make the Olympics." They ended up keeping me for a few more days.   
  
Unfortunately, Brody stuck to his word, and dad was there too.    
  


“Tell me why, Why would you do this Brianne?” Dad was serious. He used my whole name.   
  


“You’re busy, even have time for your girlfriend. You never had time for me! You get to do what you want!” I turned to Brody.   
  


“And Brody, you get to be some hotshot hockey player. I was happy with Taylor! You ruined that. Both of you. I’m just normal. Even Kris is a hotshot! What do I have to live for? Nothing.” By this time I was yelling and pacing.    
  


Dad knew I was right. “It wasn’t fair, but I did it for your own good! Do you honestly think you’d be happy with Taylor? He makes 6 mil! That’s nothing compared to Kris and Sid.” I shook my head.   
  


“Yes dad I do! I love Kris but Taylor will always be my first love! I could care less about the money! It was NEVER about the money! You’re missing the fucking point! This has NOTHING to do with who I’m dating and who I’m not! It’s about..” I noticed Brody wasn’t saying anything.   
  
“Brody…” I gave him a look, saying he better talk.   
  


“I don’t understand you Bria. We have been through everything. Why did you think you couldn’t come to me? I had to find you fucking passed out from cutting?!” He got up.    
  


“Brody, I knew I couldn’t fucking tell you! Hell the only reason Kris found out is because he walked in on me in Montreal!” Yes I did lie, because I couldn’t tell them he had snuck in for a few days and found out I was cutting.   
  


“I love you. And my past, when you left for Carolina, that’s when I really lost it. Dad was still ignoring me and I know it had to do with mom. You had your career and I wasn’t going to distract you!” He pulled me into a hug.   
  


“Bria I’m only upset that you didn’t think you could come to me about anything. The things I do for you, are because you’re my baby sister and I’ll always protect you. I made mom a promise that I’d look after you. Always.”   
  
After that, dad paid more attention to me, which in a way was a good thing. Although I still was grounded for a few weeks, I really didn’t care. I got to have a secret relationship with Kris. I missed him so much. It was just practice for the season, which I was now dreading. I loved hockey but being away from the love of your life sucked. There was a little over a month until the season started, and the boys were busy. I never thought I’d say this…   
  


”I wish there was another lockout.” At least tensions wouldn’t run high and the guys wouldn’t compete with each other over who is the most fit, or who worked out the most.   
  
My dad wanted me to stay here in Calgary, and I had thought a lot about it. I wasn’t sure what would be better for me in the long run. One on side, I could be with my big brother, cousin and get to see my boyfriend, but on the other, I could spend time with dad. Speaking of, I will never be okay with him dating. Once again, I had to have a secret relationship as I was still grounded. He always called me when he was going out. I knew he was back in Pittsburgh, which meant a night out with the boys. I didn’t mind it but when he didn’t call, I got worried. Late at night, I was getting ready for bed and I got a text, or well a picture message from James.    
“OMG…” was all I could say….   



	11. Chapter 11

Honestly I was in shock. I had no idea what I just saw a picture of, okay I did know I just couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know if I should’ve called Kris or not, so I called James.    
  


“Jay! What the fuck was that?!” I yelled in the phone.    
  


“Look, before you go all ape shit on Tanger you may want to listen to him first.” I was fuming.    
  


“Put him on the phone!” I demanded.    
  


“I’m not sure...” I cut him off.   
  


“JAMES NEAL IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU, YOU’LL DO IT!” I was beyond livid, and only getting more pissed by the minute.   
  


“Hi babe.” Kris got on the phone.   
  


“DON’T ‘HI BABE’ ME KRISTOPHER ALLEN LETANG! DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK NEALER SENT ME A PICTURE OF YOU PUNCHING SCOTT? HE’S A FUCKING PROSPECT! HE’S NOT A FUCKING THREAT TO YOU!” I screamed in the phone and if I knew more French we would be having a screaming match in French.   
  
“Brie, listen to me.” He said calmly, well as calmly as he could, since he was still fuming from his fight.   
  


“He was talking shit about you and your family. I wasn’t going to sit around and let him tear you apart. So, I punched him and it resulted in a fight.”    
  


I shook my head, it was sweet that he defended me but to get in a fight with a prospect?   
  


“Babe, I love that you defended me, it means a lot to me but what’s going to happen when Dan or Ray find out? Shit’s going to happen and you’ll be miserable.” I knew he knew I was right.   
  


“I couldn’t just..” I cut him off.    
  


“You did the right thing, but Kris, you and I both know Dan and Ray are going to find out about this, and you have to tell the truth. Look I’ll do the best I can to clear it up, since they love me, but I’m not making any promises.”   
  
The next morning, I got on the phone with Dan and Ray. It went as well as I had hoped. Let’s just say they weren’t going to go easy on Kris, and he may be mad at me afterwards. The plan was to scare Kris so he wouldn’t do it again. I told Dan and Ray what had happened and then came up with the brilliant plan of ‘we are pissed at you.’ Needless to say my plan worked.   
  
I missed Kris a lot. Brody and Brett left for Charlotte, Kris was in Pittsburgh already, and I was at home, still trying to decide what to do. I knew if I stayed here, I’d have to see Taylor, which I didn’t mind but I still had feelings for him. Being at home, I’d have my dad and his girlfriend, but dad would be gone a lot during the season. I did miss my Uncle Darryl, and my cousins Jessica and Chris. This is what happens when you have so much family. My dad had six brothers, and being a hockey family at that complicated things a bit. We were all spread out, so I saw them at least once a year.   
  
I sat dinner on the table, and sat down, engaging in light conversation with my dad.   
  


“So…I was thinking of not going to Charlotte. I want to go visit Uncle Darryl. I miss him, Jessica and Chris. Please dad?” I hoped he would agree.    
  


“Alright, if you help out with chores and it’s okay with him. I don’t see why not.” I smiled, knowing my Uncle would say yes, that and I can whoop those boys into shape. I knew they were all defeated when they got knocked out of the Conference Finals.   
  
The only problem with that plan was that I still wouldn’t get to see Kris. That and the fact at the end of January the Penguins travel out to L.A. for a game, probably won’t sit well with him, knowing my Uncle is the coach and I’d be helping them. And the fact that I kind of knew who Dan was starting. Well now I needed to tell Kris, although I realized I’d still be the youngest Sutter in the house, as Chris and Jessica were in their twenties and I was still seventeen. To answer your question, I was going to enroll into one of the colleges near my Uncle's house.   
  
“YOU’RE WHAT?!” Kris yelled on the phone.    
I knew we would need to have this conversation sooner or later. I’d choose the latter if it were up to me, but knew it’d be better for him to hear it from me rather than someone else.   
  


”C'est de la folie! pourquoivoudriez-vousaller?” (This is insane! Why would you go?!)   
  


“Parceque je ne serai pas choisir qui de vivre avec! Ilestdifficile de choisir entre mon frère et monpère.” (Because I won't be choosing who to live with! it's hard choosing between my brother and my dad.)   
  
“I know, I’m sorry babe. We barely see each other as it is, and I don’t want you to move to LA.” Kris sighed.   
  


And Yes we did change back to English.   
  


“I think it’s the best thing for me Kris. I won’t get in trouble and you, Brody, and Brett don’t have to worry about me as much. I’ll be with Uncle Darryl and my cousins Jessica and Chris.”   
  
I had been in L.A. for a few weeks. Training Camp had started, and boy did we need help. The boys were still mad about the playoffs. With the loss of Dustin Penner and Rob Scuderi, we needed to change lines. Watching the boys and helping with the team made me miss the Penguins, Brody and Brett. I knew that being in California was the best thing for me. I was going to major in Sports Journalism with a minor in Sports Medicine, so I could help with the guys. What can I say? I’m a Sutter, hockey’s in my blood.   
  
I had a routine. Go to class, rink/do homework, cook dinner for the team on game days (or I would be when the season started), and go to said home games, then bed. On this particular day, I decided to hangout with Mike Richards. Usually it would be Penner, but he was in Anaheim.    
  


“Are you okay? You look pale.” Mike asked as I sat on the couch. We were watching SuckerPunch, and the next thing I knew I was in Mike’s room with Mike and my Uncle.    
  


“What happened? Why am I? Mike did we?” He laughed.   
  


“No we didn’t do anything. You blacked out.”   
  



	12. Chapter 12

I knew I was doing too much but I was stubborn. I thought I could handle it. I should’ve known better than to take on a full course load and a whole NHL team. Granted it was my Uncle’s team but I took it upon myself to look after them. Well with Mikey’s help. However I was not surprised when I got the call from Dustin. I knew for a fact Mikey had told Jeff and Jeff had told Dusty. That was just how it worked. Let’s just say I got an earful from Dustin.   
  
After that debacle I decided to go to the club where I knew the guys went. It was easy to get into with my name, and me meeting up with Jeff. After two shots and a few beers later, I was drunk. Unbeknownst to me, I drunk called Brody.    
  


“Let’s go Jeffy..I want to go to your apartment.” I whined and moaned his name.   
  


I guess Brody hung up and called me back. I stumbled outside of the club and answered.    
  


“Hey big brother” I was slurring my words.   
  


“Where are you?!” I rolled my eyes. 

“At a club with Jeff.” I yelled.    
  


“Don’t fucking do anything stupid! You love Kris! Remember that before you sleep with Jeff!” I was beyond pissed and so far gone by that point.    
  


“Fuck you Brody. Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?” I yelled and hung up. I went back inside and found Jeff.    
  


“There you are baby.” I grabbed his arm. While I was gone, he found some blonde puck slut.   
  


“Come on Jeffy, let’s go home” I kissed him. Let’s just say all the way to his apartment we made out.   
  
We went to his bedroom, and the words my brother said to me were running through my head.    
  


“Fuck” I said under my breath.    
  


“Jeff I can’t..we can’t.” I got up and ran out, calling my uncle. I knew I’d get a good yelling in the morning.    
  


Let’s say Uncle Darryl was less than thrilled to pick me up at one in the morning at Jeff’s apartment. I know he wouldn’t look at me, because he would blow a gasket. I tried to talk but I fell asleep in the front seat. I had no recollection of what happened or how I got to my own room.   
  
I went down for breakfast and Uncle Darryl was there. I grabbed water, pills and cereal.    
  


“Do you want to tell me what you were thinking?” He asked, in his usual soft tone.    
  


‘good he isn’t mad…yet’ I thought to myself.    
  


“That I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed to let loose, and I overdid it. I thought…shit I’ll be right back.” I excused myself and went up to my room to call my brother.   
  
“Brody, I..I’m sorry for last night. I wasn’t thinking and I was messed up after my blackout and I handled it wrong. I’m sorry I yelled at you, you were only trying to help me. I love you big brother” I left a voicemail, figuring he was in training camp.    
  


I went back downstairs and talked to my uncle.    
  


“Look you can’t be that stupid again, not only are you a Sutter but you could hurt Kris’ reputation as well.” I nodded, understanding that I was dumb and needed to change again. I couldn’t believe that I had let myself get to that point again.   
  
“What the fuck?!” I yelled at the TV.    
  


I was watching the Penguins preseason game, like I had been and they just weren’t with it. Fleury was on point, but everyone else were making mistakes. Geno and James had some good shots but there was something up with Kris. I have seen him play, and that wasn’t him.    
  


“What’s going on babe?” I asked him, when he called me after the game.   
  


“I don’t know, I mean I miss you but that has never affected my game.” Kris was all over the place and he kept making simple mistakes, like turnovers and just wasn’t playing well.   
  


“Go out with the boys. Let loose, have fun. Hell go get yourself a puck slut for all I care, if that’s what it takes to help you. I know I can’t be there right now, but I will be soon.”    
  


Kris fought me on it, but I assured him that if he got himself a puck slut that it was alright and I wouldn’t get mad just this once, since it was my idea. I was planning on surprising Kris at the first game of the season, which happened to be the home opener. Yes, the Kings played that day but I had gotten the clear from my Uncle since it wasn’t a home game. I only hoped that there wasn’t a Checkers game that day.   



	13. Chapter 13

Turns out, the Checkers first season game was October 4th, so I was in luck and the home opener for them wasn’t until the 19th. I was so happy because I could go surprise Kris. The Charlotte Checkers had two exhibition games. I had gone to one of them, in surprise of my brother. They played well, but not like the team I know they are, Of course they are without Brett (my cousin), ZacDalpe, Jeremy Welsh, Riley Nash, Brett Bellemore, Chris Terry and Ryan Murphy. That’s half our team from last season, or well thereabouts. Brody had a great game, winning most of the faceoffs and getting the puck out of the zone. Although I would’ve liked a win, it just wasn’t the same without my cousin, Dalps, and Bellemore. Yes, I loved that my cousin was getting a chance at the NHL, after all, Brandon was up in the NHL and doing amazing. I just wish Brody was up in the big leagues with them too. I know he will get his chance in time, but right now it just sucks.   
  
After the game, I got a call from Kris. He was devastated. He had worked so hard this summer, to be back and ready for the first game of the season, and here he was before the season even started, he was placed on IR. I decided regardless of if Kris was playing or not, I’d go to the home opener. At the very least, I’d go sit with him in the box. I knew I’d already had permission to go, so I hopped on the plane, and headed to Pittsburgh. I had gotten James to pick me up at the airport, because I was wanting to surprise Kris at the game tomorrow.    
  


“So umm.. Kris isn’t here..” James said slowly, it was like he didn’t want to be the one to tell me, but had to.    
  


“Where is…” James looked at me, and I knew the answer. He was in Minnesota. I figured since I was in Pittsburgh, that I might as well stay for the game. I did miss all of my Penguins buddies.    
  


“So, are we going to Diesel or Mario’s tonight?” As long as I was there, I might as well go have some fun. Plus I knew that James and Geno would look out for me.   
  
* **Kris’ POV*** **   
**   
I had gone to Minnesota, knowing the Kings were playing there. I figured since I couldn’t play in the home opener, I’d surprise my girl. Well, I got a surprise alright when I got there. I went to the Xcel Energy Center, where I thought I’d be meeting her.   
  


“Hey Kris, what are you doing here?” Mr. Sutter asked me.   
  


“I came to surprise Brianne.” His face fell and I didn’t know what that meant.    
  


“Kris, she went to surprise you at Consol..” I didn’t know how to react to that or what I should do. I told him good luck and we parted ways. Next thing I know, Jeff Carter came out of the locker room.   
  


“Hey man, no hard feelings?” I looked at him confused.   
  


“About??” I had no idea what he was talking about, since we hadn’t played them yet, hell the season hadn’t even started for us.    
  


“Sleeping with your Brianne.” I was fuming.   
  


“What the fuck did you just say?!” I held him against the wall.    
  


“Your girlfriend and I slept together. And she is great in bed!” I punched him in the face.    
  


The next few minutes were a blur, as I only remember punching him and not sure how I ended up on my way back to Pittsburgh. All I knew is I was pissed and I needed to confront Bria about this.   
  
* **Back to Brianne’s POV*** **   
**   
Despite the fact that Kris wasn’t there, or playing, the Penguins won. Marc-Andre Fleury had his 250th career shutout. I couldn’t have been more prouder of the Penguins. Little did I know, Kris had come home and was avoiding me. Even Brandon noticed. Actually he was the one who told me Kris was home. After the game, Brandon took me to Kris’. He looked angry. I banged angrily on his door.    
  


“What the hell? I fucking come here to surprise you and you ignore me when you are home!” Kris shot back.    
  


“I know why you told me to get myself a puck slut!” Honestly I had no idea what he was talking about.   
  
“Kris, will you elaborate?"   
  


“I am talking about you fucking another player!” I looked at him like he was nuts.    
  


“What are you….Carts!” I seethed.    
  


“I’m going to KILL Carter!” I looked him dead in the eye.   
  


“Kristopher, listen to me. Jeff Carter and I NEVER had sex! I was very drunk, but believe me I stopped it before it even started!”   
  


“How can I be sure?! You told me to go out and get a fucking puck slut for God sakes!”    
  


“Yeah I did. I will try anything and be okay with whatever helps your game! I know how you get when your game’s off and how important it is for you to get back!”    
  


“That is bullshit! You were going to sleep with him!” I got up and yelled “I’m DONE!” Before I walked out, calling Brandon.   
  


“Kris and I broke up and no, I’m not talking about it.” I said as I got into my cousin’s car.   
  


“Do I have to kick his ass?” I shook my head.    
  


“No, it was my fault, and I’m killing Jeff Carter as soon as I get back to Los Angeles!” We got back, and I went to bed. I really wasn’t up to talking.   
  
Unfortunately, I couldn’t go see Brody play. The Checkers had a roadtrip to Oklahoma City. In game 2, Brody scored with five minutes left in the period. His goal helped them win. I was beyond proud of him. I called him to congratulate him, and to tell him I’d be there for his home opener. I missed my brother, and even though I wouldn’t admit it, I needed him more than I knew. Brody was the best big brother any girl could ask for, and I didn’t realize it until now. Hell he didn’t know about Kris and I, and I didn’t know how I could tell him, although I’m sure Brandon will tell him before I get to anyways. Those two were always close, actually all of us were. Brody, Brett, Brandon, Lukas and I were all the closest. Shaun was a bit older than us. It was Shaun, Brett, Brandon, Brody, Lukas and me. Honestly growing up those five knuckleheads was like having five older brothers, and that was enough for me. I loved them all, but sometimes it was annoying. I knew things would blow up when everyone heard about Kris and I, and I also knew I couldn’t tell them what I told Kris to do. I’d get shit for it, not to mention it’d get back to my dad. I didn’t need lectures from all five cousins and my dad too. I knew Kris and I needed time to think, and honestly I was not planning on breaking up with him. I packed my things and headed back to L.A., of course L.A. were going to be in Raleigh on Saturday. So, I changed my plans to go to L.A. and headed down to see Brody and Brett.   
  



	14. Chapter 14

Honestly, if I had been smart, I would’ve looked on the Hurricanes website at the schedule to see that they were in Pittsburgh. That way I could’ve seen Brandon play Brett, which would be awesome. Nope, I am not that smart and didn’t even think of it until I was halfway to Raleigh, or well Charlotte really, to see Brody before Saturday. I did have the sense to watch the game on Gamecenter. I was about ready to kill the announcers. Whenever they said Sutter, I needed to know if they were talking about Brandon or Brett. And NO, B. Sutter wouldn’t have worked either. I could see when Brody made it up with the Hurricanes, that would be a problem, especially if The Hurricanes were playing the Penguins. Either Brett and Brody would be on the same line or they would all be out on the ice at different times, needless to say it would confuse the hell out of me.   
  
My phone kept blowing up, and I knew who it was, obviously having caller ID. I didn’t want to talk to him, but deep down I did. I missed him but I didn’t know if I could trust him again. I kept ignoring his messages and sending him to voicemail. I made the mistake of listening to one of his messages.    
  


“Bria, I miss you. I fucked up, and I know that. I believe you and I want to make this right. It seems like I can’t do anything right.”   
  


I deleted that message before it ended. I sat there, with tears streaming down my face. Brandon had called me numerous times and I figured this time I should pick up, given my history and all.   
  


“Yes I’m fine, yes I miss him, and no I don’t plan on talking to him yet.” I said as soon as I picked up.   
  


“Brie he’s bad. I’ve never seen Kris like this. He knows he’s fucked up and he regrets it. He knows he overreacted.” I sighed, knowing I needed to talk to Kris, but I was already in Raleigh.

“I love you Brandon but this is something I have to do on my own. Not you, James, Geno or anyone else can fix this. If he wants this to work, he will find a way to let me know he’s truly sorry and that he trusts me.” I hung up on him, not wanting to hear anything else, and making me feel worse.   
  
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I messed up too, and I needed to fix it. I went to Brett’s apartment in Raleigh first, before I headed down to Charlotte. Well imagine my surprise, a few hours later when I was sitting on the couch watching NHL Network. I was confused as to why I was hearing a knock at the door. It was Brett’s apartment, so he had a key, and all the other usual suspects were with Brett, as they would be his teammates.    
  


“What are you doing here?” I asked not looking him in the face.    
  


“We need to talk.” He shoved open the door and walked in. I shut it, following him, but not facing him.   
  


“I’m sorry. I should’ve listened to you. I know you weren’t lying to me.” He grabbed my arm and turned me so I was facing him.   
  
“I’m sorry too. But I can’t..I have to know that you trust me. A part of me wants ‘us’ again but a part of me doesn’t know if ‘us’ is going to work.” I sighed, as he embraced me with a hug. I knew if he came here and if I let him in, that I’d cave.    
  


“If I had just listened to my gut and not my head.” I pushed him off of me.   
  


“How the hell do I not know this won’t happen again? I..wait a minute, why the fuck are you not in Florida?!” It occurred to me that he should be with the team and I knew they were playing in Florida.    
  


“I’m not even playing tonight so it doesn’t matter.” He snapped.   
  


“Like hell it does! Hockey is your life! I know that! And I’m okay with that. You need to be with your team Kristopher! We can work on ‘us’ when you get back from your roadtrip but you need to go.” It took everything in me not to punch him from being so dumb. Even I knew he should be with the team. I knew how he felt about hockey, hell it’s how Brody and Taylor felt.   
  
Just for good measure I called James, Geno and Brandon to let them know Kris came by and that I sent him on his way to Florida. Now, all I had to do was figure out what I really wanted with Kris and I and how I was going to kill Jeff Carter when they played the Hurricanes. Speaking of which, I probably should text Brett to let him know I was at the apartment so I wouldn’t get murdered by a hockey stick.   
  


“Well..let’s see, I could kick the shit out of Carts, but that would be too easy. No, I needed something he wouldn’t see coming.” I was thinking long and hard about this, until I got the perfect plan to humiliate him.   



	15. Chapter 15

I knew what I had to do. I had gone early to PNC Arena with Brett. I knew my Uncle would be getting there soon so I waited for him in the visitor’s locker room. I had to tell him my plan for Carts.    
  


“Brianne, what are you doing here? I thought you were..”   
  


“I was. Until Kris and I broke up and I have to kill Carter because of it!” I was still pissed at him.   
  


“Whatever you are going to do, I don’t even want to know. Just don’t hurt him too much. I need him to play tonight.” I glared at my uncle.   
  


“Seriously? You can’t just sacrifice him for one night?! You’re playing against your son for the first time damn it! Doesn’t that mean anything to you Uncle Darryl?” I knew I shouldn’t have said it but I was still fuming.   
  


“Of course it does! You and I both know what Carter can do on the ice!” I turned and left, I couldn’t deal with him right now. I went to the home locker room. I knew if anyone could calm me down it was Brett. He knew me better than anyone.    
  


“Why did I choose to live with your dad again?” I asked Brett as I sunk into Jeff’s stall.    
  


“Let me guess, he won’t let you hurt him?” I nodded. “And on top of that he was acting like he didn’t care about playing against his own son.”   
  
“You and I both know my dad takes games seriously, as do I. go kick Carts ass and I’ll deal with my dad later.” He kissed my forehead before going to his stall to tape his stick.   
  


“Hey Jeffy want to help me get Carter back?” He shook his head.    
  


I didn’t think he would. Jeff was never the one to help me with pranks and stuff, but he was one of my best friends. Hell he didn’t even know about me and Kris. I knew Jeff liked me and I didn’t want to hurt him.   
  
I knew that look in Jeff’s eyes, he wanted to know what was going on. So basically I shortened the whole thing.   
  


“Carter made up some lie about me a few of the guys are pissed off and think I did what Carts said and I’m pissed so I need to kill him.” It wasn’t a total lie, I just left out the part about Kris and I.    
  


Brandon, Kris, Brett and Brody were all pissed at him for it, and now I had to kill him. It wasn’t that hard to find Jeff Carter, wherever Mike Richards was, that’s where you’d find Carter. I knew exactly where to find them.   
  


All I had to do was channel my anger towards him. Luckily he was in the locker room. I snuck up on him and shoved him against the wall.   
  


“WHAT THE HELL CARTS?! YOU’RE A DUMBASS!” I yelled, punching him. Richie tried to pull me off him.    
  


“Don’t touch me!” I told Richie.    
  


“Because of you my life is over!” Okay so I was exaggerating a lot, but it felt like that because I had lost Kris.   
  
“Whoa sweetheart, I have no idea…” I glared at him.    
  


“That’s bullshit! I never slept with you!” I punched him in the face.    
  


“Feel better?” I knew my Uncle was pissed.   
  


“Yes…” I said innocently, and quickly left. As I held my head high, I went into the Hurricane’s locker room.    
  


“Dad’s pissed isn’t he?” Brett said.    
  


I nodded and sat in silence. This meant the Hurricane’s would have to work harder. The game didn’t go as we would hope. I was on edge from the game, hoping Brett didn’t get hurt. The Kings ended up winning 2-1 in a shut out.   
  



	16. Chapter 16

I still had to keep track on the Penguins because of Brandon. Unfortunately they lost that game against Florida. Honestly I had no idea what I should do about Kris and I. I liked him a lot, but at the same time it wasn’t fair to him if I was still hung up on Hallsy and was getting a crush on Jeffy. Jeff was adorable and my best friend, Hallsy was my ex but I knew we would always have that connection, and Kris…well he and I had a lot to work on before we started dating again. If I had to pick, it was between Kris and Taylor. I never thought I’d have to go to Brody for my boy problems, but he’s my brother and he knows me better than anyone.   
  
I also knew that I couldn’t bother him with the home opener coming up. So, I did what I did best, sat at his apartment, grabbed a few beers and sat on the couch writing.    
  


_ ‘Dear diary, _ _   
_ _ I have no clue what to do. I will always love Taylor, after everything, I still love him. We have been through hell and back. Kris, I like a lot too but I think we are too different. Yes, he saved me from killing myself, and I do have feelings for him but again, I can’t hold him back. Jeff Skinner, I can’t be with him. EVER. He’s my best friend and I can’t hurt him like I know I would and I can’t put him through my bullshit. I don’t know, maybe I should give up. My brother and cousins wouldn’t have to worry about me, and they could focus on their game. My dad would be happy because then he won’t feel guilty about putting me on the backburner, and everyone would be happier.’ _ __   
By this time, I was beyond drunk. I stumbled to the bathroom and got out my razor.   
  
I was in the middle of cutting when I heard Brody. I quickly hid the razor and got in the shower.   
  


“Shit!” I yelled.    
  


I forgot how much hot water stings on a fresh cut. Thankfully I was able to get in and out of the shower without Brody knocking on the door. Of course I forgot that I had left my diary out on the couch. I hurried to my room, but not before Brody stormed in.    
  


“What the hell is this Brie?” He demanded, slamming my diary to the floor.    
  


“What does it look like?” He came towards me.    
  


“Let me see your wrists.” I slipped out of his grip but he was too fast.    
  


It was too late. Brody threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the living room where I saw Jared Staal, and Zach Boychuk.   
  
“Jared, Zacky.” I nodded towards them. I wasn’t given a choice, and had to sit on the couch. That’s where Brody put me and when I tried to get up, Jared and Zach held me down.    
  


“Jare bear..let me go please.” I pouted.   
  


“No. listen to your brother.” He demanded.   
  


“Brie, it goes without saying, we love you. But this isn’t you. I don’t know what happened between you and LeTang, but you need to stop. I can’t sit here and watch you do this to yourself!” He yelled, boy was he mad.   
  


“That’s bullshit! This is bullshit! You have hockey to help! I have NOTHING! You’re fucking at the rink all the time, I’m not…” Brody cut me off.    
  


“Now that’s fucking bullshit and you know it! You have me, Brett, Jared and Zack, and Brandon! So what if you don’t play hockey? You know what..” He stormed out of the apartment, with Zack going after him.   
  
I got really drunk after that. Yes, I was somewhat drunk before, but Brody was pissed and that little talk was pissing me off more. It was the middle of the night, when I got the call from Ebs.    
  


“Hello?” My head was pounding but I knew if Eberle was calling me at 3am I needed to answer. That’s when I realized who was in my bed.    
  


“Jordan! Calm down. I can’t understand you, not to mention I have a killer hangover.” I probably spoke a little too loud, because Jared woke up.    
  


“Shh” I told him, so I wouldn’t have to explain everything to Jordan. I was in no mood to go there again.   
  


“Hallsy is hurt. He’s going back to Edmonton.” I shot out of bed real fast.   
  


“What do you mean he’s hurt? What happened?” I started pacing.    
  


“He got hit and his knee is hurt.” I got mad.    
  


“You couldn’t have called me at a decent hour?! I could see if he got boarded and was stretchered out and wasn’t moving! But a knee injury?” I rolled my eyes.   
  


“Ebs I appreciate you telling me. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I was too tired to care that Jared was in my bed. So I got in, and pressed my body against his, and told him what happened, and fell asleep in his arms.   
  
“So last night was interesting.” I turned so I was facing Jared.   
  


I knew we hadn’t slept together because Jared would never take advantage of the situation or me.   
  


“Look, I know last night…”   
  


“About last night, I really like you but I don’t know what I want…who I want. I need time Jare.” He nodded.   
  


“I get it babe. I’ll be here, whatever you decide. But you should really go to Hallsy. I saw how worried you were last night. I can tell you still love him.”    
  


The one thing I liked about Jared, is that it didn’t matter what was going on, he understood and wasn’t angry with me. And yes, we always have called each other ‘babe, baby or as I like to call him, Jare bear.’ We got changed and went to the kitchen, where Brody had a smirk on his face.    
  


“Nothing happened Brody! I swear” I made breakfast, which consisted of eggs, bacon and pancakes. Times like this, I wish I had a girl best friend to help me decide.   



	17. Chapter 17

I knew Jared was right though, I still loved Taylor, and if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have reacted like I did.   
  


“Brody, I’m going home for a few days. I’ll be back next week. Yes, I’ll let you know when I land and when I get home, and I’ll keep you updated on everything I do.”    
  


No, Taylor didn’t know I was coming, but Jordan did and he knew better than to open his mouth to tell Taylor. I was so bored on the plane, so I managed to go to sleep, but not before I prepared a speech for once I got to Edmonton. I texted Brody saying I had made it. It wasn’t a total lie, I had told him I was there and I was going home, but not to Calgary.   
  
Taylor was sitting on the couch, playing Xbox, when I got there.    
  


“Why am I not surprised?” I joked. He sat up.   
  


“Brie, shouldn’t you be with Kris?” I thought for sure he would’ve heard.   
  


“Long story. We broke up and I’m here to take care of you until you’re back in a month.” With Taylor, it felt normal, like we were meant to be.    
  


“Bria, who knows you’re here?” Taylor knew me so well.    
  


“Brody, but he thinks I went to Calgary.” He smirked and I knew I had to talk with him.    
I got up and made dinner, figuring I should feed him before I brought up ‘us.’ Okay, so I made the boys dinner, I was feeling sick and had been for a while. I kept pushing it in the back of my mind hoping it would go away eventually, thinking it was stress.   
  
“Look, if I’m going to help you, you need to know I still love you. Never stopped. I’m willing to try again but we can’t just pick up and be engaged.” I stopped knowing he was in deep thought.   
  


I went to get up, to save myself some more embarrassment. He grabbed my arm to pull me down. He looked me in the eyes, cupped my face and kissed me.    
  


“I understand. But promise me, we will try harder this time?” I knew he meant we aren’t giving up this time, no matter what my family said or tried to do like last time. We both knew that my family wouldn’t like the fact that we were back together. But who said they had to find out?   
  
We ended up cuddling and watching movies well into the night. The next morning, I went to wake up Taylor.   
  


“Come on let’s get you out of here for a while. I’m taking your car and we are going shopping.” I smirked, knowing he hated shopping but I needed his help.   
  


I planned on fixing the guest room. It was a little bare, but with two guys living there I didn’t expect anything else.   
  


“You know you want to get out of the house..” It had been a week, and I knew Taylor all too well. Whenever he had an injury he didn’t like staying off the ice too long and he was out for four weeks. This was going to be fun..not.   
  
Normally, I hated shopping too, but seriously, I couldn’t take the bare walls anymore.   
  


“I need pink paint, and flower wall pictures.” Taylor sent me the death glare.    
  


“Kidding babe. I wouldn’t do that to you and Ebs. I was thinking of painting the room blue, and leaving it at that. I’m not the creative, especially not knowing if you’ll be here your whole career.” He nodded, leaving everything up to me.    
  


“That’s more like it. No pink in the apartment, other than your clothes of course.”    
  


Yes, I was a hockey girl but I still had some girly-girl stuff. Not that you saw it often. It took an hour to find the right tone of blue. We finally agreed on the blue that went with the Oilers. It was only right, seeing as how both of the boys played for them. We were both starving and finally settled on IHOP. I was starving, even though I had eaten breakfast a few hours prior. Neither of us stopped to think ‘hmm maybe there will be reporters’ because you know, who thinks that in Edmonton. Pittsburgh, Carolina, New York, Chicago, yes, but Edmonton? Nope. We were dead wrong. I knew I’d be getting phone calls when the picture of Taylor and I came out on the internet and in newspapers and magazines. That was not what I wanted. So, the only logical thing to do was to turn off my phone. Even though we weren’t holding hands, obviously because of his crutches, but knowing my family and our history, they were going to have a conniption.   
  
“Don’t worry baby. As far as it looks, we are just hanging out as friends. We aren’t kissing or anything.” Taylor was trying to calm me down as we got in his car.    
  


“I know, but you know my brother and dad. They will know, I’m not sure how but they will.” I hit the steering wheel in frustration.   
  


“I should have known. They don’t think you’re good enough for me. That’s why they were so behind me when I was dating Kris. Fuck! I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. But you know what? Who cares. It’s my life and I’m in love with you, not him.” I held his hand while I drove to his apartment. I got him inside and settled, while I started painting.   
  


I needed a way to get my frustrations out and I knew beating him at Halo was not going to help. I turned on my itunes, changed into sweats and a T-Shirt that I didn’t care about and started dancing and singing to ‘Nightmare’ by Avenged Sevenfold. Hey, it was what came on my ipod, as it was on shuffle.   
  
A few hours into it, I hadn’t realized Taylor was standing there. I was dancing to Luke Bryan’s ‘Country Girl (Shake it for me)’ and was in deep concentration when he brought me out of my thoughts.    
  


“You’re never dancing like that unless it’s just us.” I jumped and turned around to see him.   
“OMG Taylor, I didn’t..you weren’t supposed to see that.” I said shyly, going back to my painting.    
  


“Baby that was good, I mean no one should see your ass like that but me.” I rolled my eyes.   
  


”No one was ever supposed to see that. I thought you were on the couch! Go!” I pointed to the direction of the living room area. I finished up painting the walls and collapsed on the couch.   
  
Apparently, painting took a lot out of me, speaking of, I had painted my room at my house and didn’t remember it being this tiring, I woke up in my bed, and looked at my phone, it was 8pm. I shot up like a rocket.    
  


“I know you’re starving, why didn’t you wake me when you were hungry?” I said, scrambling to find some food, which we needed to go to the store. He came over and wrapped his arms around me.   
  


“Babe relax, Eberle and I ordered out, and we got you some food. I figured you worked so hard and should sleep.” He kissed my neck.    
  


“Thanks baby.” I went to the fridge and got the sushi out and ate it on the couch, watching none other than the hockey game. Speaking of which, I couldn’t keep down the sushi so I settled for some crackers.   
  


“Baby you’ve been doing that a lot. Are you sure you’re alright?” He checked my forehead.    
  


“Yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Let’s just get you ready for the ice.” We decided to watch my cousin Brandon and the Penguins, against the Colorado Avalanche.   
  
“Come on you fucking pieces of shit! Stop being so fucking cocky and play the damn game!” I yelled at the TV.   
  


Jordan and Taylor looked at me like I was nuts.   
  


“Opps, sorry I’ll dial it down a bit.” I sunk down, and rested my head on Taylor’s chest. The boys chuckled.    
  


“No Brie, it’s fine. I forgot how much you got into the games. Keep going. It’s entertaining.” The Penguins lost, and I was pissed, no not at Flower.    
  


He did his best. Our offense and defense were there but we couldn’t get one past the Avalanche goalie.    
  


“Brianne, relax. You need to calm down. It’s not like they were…” I gave him the death glare. 

“Don’t. I know they did their best and I’m glad no one got injured.” I sighed.    
  


“I’m just going to bed. Night guys” I kissed Taylor and hugged Jordan. It never occurred to me why my moods were bipolar, until I called Lauryn. So, no I didn’t fall asleep right away.   
  
“Lauren, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m happy one minute, and then sad and then pissed the fuck off.” I then preceded to tell her about the whole painting thing. 

I know I said I didn’t have a girl best friend, but since I’ve been basically living with Hallsy, I had become close with Eberle’s girlfriend, Lauren.   
  


“Honey, did you and Kris ever?” I had to think hard because I was trying to push my memories with Kris as far out of my mind as possible.   
  


“Yes..when I was in Montreal…shit.” I shot up right away.    
  


“Lauren, this can’t happen. I can’t be..” She was doing her best to calm me but nothing was working.   
  


I knew this would blow up in my face, and I’d be on my own to raise a baby. Eventually I fell asleep, but woke up before the boys woke up. I grabbed Taylor’s keys and went to the drug store to get some tests. I paid for them and went back home to take them. It was the longest three minutes of my life. All three tests were positive.   
  



	18. Chapter 18

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I screamed. I heard a knock on the door.    
  


“Are you okay in there Bria?” I heard Jordan ask.    
  


“Yeah I’m fine. I just umm started my period at the worst time ever.” I lied, but I knew it would get him off my back.    
  


“Eww didn’t need to know that.” He walked away.    
  


‘whew dodged that one, but I have to tell 

Taylor.’    
  


I went to my room and hid the tests in my drawer. Taylor was up and doing exercises, since he was cleared to practice.    
  


“Tay, can I talk to you outside for a minute?” He got up, took my hand and led me outside.   
I took a deep breath and started sobbing. Stupid pregnancy hormones.   
  


“Babe, what’s wrong?” He kissed my temple and rubbed my back.    
  


“I’m pregnant, and if you want to leave me you can. I can do this on my own. You and I both know it’s not your responsibility.” He looked at me, like he was trying to process this.   
  
“Okay…so you’re pregnant. That’s great. We need to move then.” It took me a minute to comprehend what he was saying.    
  


“Taylor, I’m letting you off the hook. This isn’t your baby.” I stood up, pacing.   
  


“It can be. I love you and I’ll love this baby 

like he’s mine, and I’ll be his father.” I stopped dead in my tracks.    
  


“Who said my baby was a boy?” I said with a bit of sass and then smirked.   
  


“Hey, a father can dream right?” He put his hands up in defeat.    
  


“You’re really willing to be a father, for me, for my baby?” He put his arms around my waist.    
  


“I meant every word I said when I first proposed a few years ago. I love you, you mean everything to me, and this baby is ours.” I smiled up at him, ‘our baby’ sounds nice.    
  


“So now I have to tell my dad and brother…let the fireworks begin” I was about to go inside and call them when Taylor stopped me again. He put his hands gingerly on my stomach.    
  


“Hi baby, I’m your daddy. Your mommy is the best, so behave in there.” He kissed my stomach. I loved watching him interact with the baby. I knew right then and there that Taylor was serious and we were going to be a family.   
  
I knew my family would be pissed, but there was nothing they could do about it now. I was happy with my life. I was with Taylor and we were having a baby. I knew Taylor would be an amazing father and I could care less what he had to offer. As in, a big house, and nice things. Yes I could have all those things still, but I didn’t want them. If I wanted them I would go to Kris and make him pay child support but I had no intentions of him finding out I was pregnant with his baby. I was sitting on the couch, had my phone on speaker, letting it ring, calling Brody and my dad. I looked over at Taylor for assurance, who smiled at me and held my hand, rubbing his thumbing on the back of my hand, calming me down, as I was three-way calling them.   
  
“It’s safe to say I’m not in Calgary. Sorry Brody but I have a feeling Baby Staal told you?”    
  


“Yes he did. I figured as much anyways.” I took a deep breath and then spit it out.    
  


“Okay so I’m calling because I’m not coming back to Charlotte. I’m back together with Hallsy, and well I’m pregnant.” Just as I thought, they didn’t let me finish.   
  


“WHAT?! I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT YOU WITH HIM!”    
  


“IM GOING TO KILL HALLSY!” Needless to say it was going, how I expected.    
  


“DAD! BRODY! SHUT UP! THE BABY IS KRIS’ I NEVER EVEN HAD SEX WITH TAYLOR! HE’S GOING TO RAISE MY BABY LIKE HE/SHE WAS HIS OWN CHILD. MY BABY WILL KNOW TAYLOR AS THEIR DAD.” They were silent.   
  


“Hello? Are you guys there?”    
  


“Yeah. Are you at least going after Kris for child support?” Dad asked.   
  


“No, the best revenge I can give him is not 

even telling him that it’s his child. Taylor and I have a lot to figure out, but what I do know, is the three of us are going to be a family. And no Brody you can’t have Brett kick Kris’ ass on the 28th.” I knew I needed to also tell James and Brandon, but knew if I did, Kris would find out and that is not what I wanted.   
  


“Well I don’t like this situation but I think your brother and I agree that we will be there for you. If you and Taylor need anything let us know.” I smiled knowing they would be in my child’s life.   
  


“I agree and Brie, we love you. Now, am I going to have to teach my nephew hockey?” I chuckled.    
  


“Brody, we don’t even know if we are having a boy. We won’t know for a while. But no, you’ll be fun uncle Brody that will let him or her get away with stuff and Taylor will be teaching him hockey if that’s what he or she want.”   
  
I rolled my eyes, knowing this was going to be a long pregnancy, if Brody was already wanting to teach my child hockey.   
  


“I have to go guys. I love you” I hung up, not really having to go, I just didn’t feel like talking anymore. I started texting Brandon and decided to tell James.    
  


“So.. Hallsy and I are back together, I’m pregnant and it’s Kris’. I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TELL KRIS I’LL KILL YOU.” I texted them and waited for a response.   
  


“He needs to know. I’m happy for you but you need to tell Kris it’s his kid.” Was the response I got from the both of them, well different variations of that response. I should have known it wasn’t going to be easy.   
  


“No, he doesn’t deserve to know. He fucked up and now my revenge is not telling him. I don’t want any handouts and Taylor will be my child’s dad. That’s final.” I chucked my phone against the wall, not wanting to talk about it anymore.    
  


“Damn babe, calm down. The stress isn’t 

good for you or our baby.” He rubbed my back.   
  


“And that’s why I threw my phone. Everyone’s trying to tell me what to do about this whole thing.” I sobbed into his shirt.    
  


“I know but it’s your decision. You’re the mother and it’s your child.” I looked at him as he wiped my tears.   
  


“It’s our decision and it’s our child. We are going to treat this child like he or she is our’s. not anyone else’s. Any decisions will be made by both of us.” He smiled, pulling me into his lap.    
  


“I like the sound of that. When do you want to find a house, or we could just kick Ebs out.” I chuckled.    
  


“We aren’t kicking Eberle out. We can go now, since I don’t feel sick right now.”    
  


I was two months pregnant and still getting morning sickness. I wished it was over with, I was tired of running to the bathroom every so often. I got up and just went in my sweats and Oilers Hockey sweatshirt. We found the perfect house for us. It was near the arena, and it had 5 bedrooms and 4 full baths and a half bath. It was perfect because the master bedroom was huge and we could make the nursery across from our room.   
  


“I want to do the nursery.” I was shocked, he said that, although I had to be suspicious.    
  


“Let me guess, I can’t see it until it’s ready?”    
  


“Exactly. Why don’t you go visit Brandon in Pittsburgh when we find out the sex, so I can do the nursery.” I knew I wouldn’t be able to get it out of him, even if I tried.   



	19. Chapter 19

I was growing everyday, and honestly I hated it. It was the night of when the Penguins were in the Raleigh, playing the Hurricanes, but it worked out for me. I could see Brett and Brandon and then go to Charlotte for a bit. I wasn’t getting morning sickness anymore so I was actually able to fly to Carolina. Honestly, I was so excited to see Tanya and Heather again. As I got off the plane, to my surprise, I not only see Brett and Brandon, but their whole teams as well. Except Kris, which I was thankful for. I was not in the mood to play nice with him. I was being fought over, not that I minded, but a girl needs room to breathe. Especially since only a few select members of each team knew my situation and that I was even pregnant.   
  


If looks could kill…that was about right. Half of them (mostly the Penguins team) wanted to kill Kris.    
  


“Guys, it’s fine. He doesn’t even know I’m pregnant. I’m happy with Hallsy, and it isn’t how we planned a few years ago, but we are making it work.”    
  


“But we warned him, if he hurt you…” I looked at Joe Vitale.    
  


“Joey it’s fine really. Look guys, I know you want to kill Kris, but please don’t. I made up my mind, I’m going to tell him tonight.” I started walking to baggage claim to get my bags. I knew this wasn’t going to end well for me. I may let the man I am still in love with walk out of my life and my child’s life for good.   
  


We were at PNC Arena, and I was in the family area, wanting to wish some of the guys luck before the game. Honestly I was trying to avoid Kris at all costs. And I managed to do just that, until the game. Brandon and his bright ideas, put me in the team suite, where Mario, and Kris were.    
  


“Really Joey?! Come on Brett, kick his ass!” My cousin and Joe Vitale were fighting.    
Luckily neither of them had gotten seriously injured.   
  


“Now is that anyway for you to root for your cousin?” I knew that voice.

“First off, Brett is my cousin too, and secondly I’m not doing this with you Kris.” That’s when it all started. I had felt off all day but ignored it.   
  


“What do you want?” I asked in a smug tone.   
  


“You and I both know we still have that connection. I still..wait is it mine?” I had turned around so I was facing him.   
  


I knew it was sooner or later, and I’d rather get that out of the way.   
  


“No. It’s Hallsy’s. so you’re off the hook if that’s what you’re worried about.” I lied.   
  


I knew it would come back to bite me in the ass but at this point I needed to get as far away from him as possible. Well as plans work for me, it didn’t. I later woke up in the hospital, hooked up to machines. I was dazed. I saw Kris, and against my better judgment, I asked what happened.   
  


“Is my baby okay?” I could tell something was wrong.   
  


Because Brett and Brandon had frowns on their faces.   
  


“One of you better tell me what the fuck is going on. NOW!” Brett sat on my bed.    
  


“Brie, you fainted and had a miscarriage. Sorry.” It took me a minute to comprehend what he said.   
  


I broke down, as Brett held me in his arms.    
  


“Where’s Kris? I need to talk to him.” Both Brett and Brandon looked confused.    
  


“Bria, you’re with Taylor, not Kris..you..” I shook my head.   
  


“No, I know what I said, I need to talk to Kris.” Brandon left to go get him.    
  


“I need to talk to him alone. Please. I’ll be fine.” They nodded and headed out of my room and closed the door.    
  


“Kris, I’m sorry..This is all my fault.’ I sobbed.    
  


“Brianne, this isn’t your fault. No one could’ve known.” He soothed.    
  


“No Kris, you don’t get it. I lost not only my baby, but your baby. I lied because I didn’t want to get hurt again and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let you disappoint him.” I turned away from him so I couldn’t read your expression.   
  


“Mon Cherie, I don’t blame you for keeping this from me. I was a jerk but we can get through this.” He scooped me in is arms and kissed my temple. I laid there in his arms, until I fell asleep.    
  


I had no idea how I would tell Taylor about what happened. Kris was there when I left the hospital and took me to my favorite restaurant in Raleigh, since he had an off day and didn’t need to be in Pittsburgh until tomorrow. In my head, I knew what he has doing, but in my heart, I knew I could trust him and that I still had feelings for him. I was so distraught that I didn’t care what I was doing.    
  


“I love you.” I absentmindingly whispered to him. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking when I asked him to stay the night. I had forgotten that Brett and the Hurricanes were still in town. They had a few days off, and I of course was staying with him and Brett Bellemore.   
  


Let’s just say they were less then thrilled when they came home and found Kris and I cuddling on the couch. Of course I woke up, I mean who could sleep with them being loud and drunk.    
  


“What is HE doing here?!” My cousin all but yelled.    
  


“Well if you must know, he was comforting me and keeping my mind off of yesterday, no thanks to you. I thought MAYBE you being my cousin, you’d stay with me. I didn’t know what to do, so I called him.” I was frustrated and upset, who could blame me for blowing up.   
  


“You shouldn’t…” I glared at Brett Bellemore.   
  


“Don’t even finish that sentence Bellmore! I’ll do as I please.” I turned to Kris.   
  


“I love you. Still do. But I need to figure some things out and tell Taylor. So I’ll call you soon.” I kissed him for a long time, for the road. Now, I needed to get back to Edmonton.   
  



	20. Chapter 20

“Brie, what are you doing here?” Taylor was shocked.   
  


I broke down as soon as I saw what he was working on. He was building the crib himself. He came and wrapped his arms around me, in a big hug.    
  


“I’m sorry…I..I lost the baby in Carolina.” I sobbed. I could tell he was upset.   
  


“Shh..it’ll be okay. We will get through this.” This caused me to cry harder.   
  


I couldn’t hurt him twice in one day and yet the words came tumbling out of my mouth like a waterfall.    
  


“That’s the thing Taylor, we both know we were together because of the baby and we know our chemistry is gone.” He sighed.    
  


“I know.. I was hoping..well I think we were both hoping that the baby would bring us closer.” I nodded.    
  


“It’s better this way. I mean we don’t have to get a divorce, and I think we both know we are better as friends.” I hated it had to come to this.   
  


Taylor was a great guy but he didn’t deserve for me to settle with him. We both knew I still loved Kris and thought about him, more than I probably should.   
  


“I think I’m going to go home to Calgary for a while. I need to figure some stuff out. But first, would you mind being with me when I call Brody and my dad?” I knew I’d breakdown.   
  


“Yes.” I dug for my phone, and dialed the all too familiar numbers.   
  


“Daddy, Brody..” I took a deep breath.   
  


“When I was in Carolina..I lost the baby.” It was dead silent.    
  


“Guys? Say something.” I begged as I was getting choked up.    
  


“Bria…I’m so sorry. “ Brody said, and I could hear he was sincere.   
  


“Thanks.. another thing, Taylor and I are done for good. Just friends. The way it was meant to be. We are both fine with it. We have a mutual agreement and I am going to go home for a while. I need to just figure some things out.” I sighed, as Taylor gave me a warm smile.    
  


“I think that’s a good idea babygirl” My dad finally spoke up and I knew he was looking forward to being a Grandpa.   
  


“Alright so I’ll be home in a few days dad. As soon as I get everything settled here in Edmonton.” We finally hung up and I was feeling a little better.    
  


“What do we do with the house?” Hallsy asked me.    
  


“You should keep it. You paid for it. The house is legally yours.”   
  


After a long conversation about everything from if Taylor was going to sell the house, which he was, to where we both stood. We had decided to remain best friends and to never lose contact again. Yes, it hurt to not be romantically linked with my once fiancée and boyfriend, but we both knew it was for the best. It was better to end things now, while we were still civil, rather than later when it would end in a nasty divorce.   
  


A week later, I was all settled in, in my old room in Calgary. Boy was I glad I was home. It had been one thing after another and I needed a break. Daddy and I were as close as ever which I was thankful for. I knew I needed to figure out what was going to happen with Kris and I, and if I was going to live in Charlotte with Brett and Brody or in Pittsburgh with Brandon. As much as I wanted to live with Kris, I knew we couldn’t live together just yet. Yes, I said Brett and Brody in Charlotte. Unfortunately, after the Pittsburgh game, Brett was put on waivers, cleared said waivers and sent down to the Checkers. While I was in Calgary, I did a lot of thinking. Why did all of this have to happen to me? I broke down. No matter what, someone I loved got hurt and it was Hallsy. I called one of the only guys who could calm me down, Geno.   
  


“I don’t know what to do. I love Kris and I want to be in Pittsburgh but I’m not sure it’s the best thing”   
  


“Brie you love Kris. He miserable. You sad. Come live with me.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.    
  


“Thanks G. but you have hockey to worry about without me being in the way.”   
  


“No, I come pick up and drag here.” I laughed, I loved the big Russian. 

“Well then I guess I’m moving to Pittsburgh. But don’t tell Kris. I’m not entirely ready to see him.”   
  


“Okay. I not tell him. But tell Brandon.” I rolled my eyes.    
  


“Fine I'll tell Brandon and Geno, thanks for this. Love you”    
  


“Love you too Brie.” Geno was like a big brother, yes I already had one of those but what could I say? Geno was lovable, but I was not attracted to him.   
  


I felt a little better but not totally. I knew I had to stay with my dad for a while longer. I couldn’t still be emotionally unstable when I went there. I had to be a perfect WAG. Which meant taking lessons from Vero and Erin. Vero was the sweetest woman you’d ever meet and Erin was my cousin by marriage. It was nice to know there was another woman in the family. Erin was married to my cousin Brett. She’s been in Calgary when I was in Charlotte. We kept missing each other by a few days. Luckily Erin was in Calgary, so I could start trying to be a perfect WAG.    
  


“Daddy, I’m heading over to Erin and Brett’s. I know what I want, and what I have to do.”    
He nodded, as he was on the phone. My dad tried to get me to go to some scouting stuff, but I knew it was a bad idea if I went, considering that is how I met Taylor.   
  


“First you need a good image. No more cutting and I know the NHL WAG’s do a lot of charity work” I knew I needed to quit cutting and for a while I had, but with everything lately, it was just easier. Erin and I had a long talk and I was glad I had another woman to talk to.   
  



	21. Chapter 21

After all of that, I decided my best bet was to stay with Brody. I loved Kris, Geno, Brandon and all of the Pens guys, but I knew in the long run, living with Brody would be better. Plus, I could support my cousins, and go see Kris when the Penguins came to Raleigh to play the Hurricanes. Kris and I have done the long distance before and if we were meant to be, it would work out. Of course Geno kept trying to convince me to come live with him. Kris and I weren’t entirely back together, but taking things slow this time.    
  


“Brody…” I whined.    
  


“I want to go to a club” He never let me do anything fun and with the team.    
  


“I guess. Brett is going to be there, and so is Jared. I’m not going, but since our cousin and Jared are going, you can go.” I was excited.    
  


“Thanks Brody!” I wore a tight, short, strapless blue dress.    
  


“Haha no you’re not wearing that.” I rolled my eyes at my brother.    
  


“Watch me” I grabbed my clutch and met Jared at Brett’s.    
  


“Alright, here’s the deal, I’m on my own. Unless I give you the signal or look annoyed, don’t come to my rescue. I know Brody thinks Jared is my date tonight but we are both taken.” I said sternly.   
  


“Fine but if Brody finds out, it’s all on you. We had nothing to do with it” Brett told me.    


We were at the club for a few hours and I was drunk. I was dancing alone, when a guy started throwing himself at me.    
  


“Go away!” I pushed him.    
  


“I’m engaged.” He grabbed my waist.    
  


“Where’s your ring babe?” I was getting frustrated. Luckily Jared was nearby.    
  


“There you are babe.” He started kissing me.    
  


“Get away from my girl if you know what’s good for you” He got in the guy’s face.    
  


“Thanks Jare” I told him. I was too focused on thanking Jared that I didn’t noticed people taking pictures.   
  


“Come on, let’s go get Brett and head home.” We were out of the club and on the way home.    
  


“Jared, did you tell Natalie what was going on tonight?” I asked him.    
  


“Yeah she’s fine with it.”    
  


“Good, cause I ain’t bailing you out babe”    
  


The next day, I woke up in my bed at Brody’s, with the worst hangover ever, and a few missed calls and texts from Kris. I looked at the texts first.    
  


'what the hell?’ with a picture of Jared and I kissing.    
  


‘shit’ I said softly before calling him.    
  


“Kris, listen before you say anything. The only way Brody would let me go out was if Brett and Jared were with me. I was drunk and some guy was feeling me up and Jared stepped in as my fake fiancée and we had to make it believeable. I would NEVER do anything to betray you and not with Jared. You know he’s like my brother.” I heard him sigh.    
  


“I’m sorry baby, I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.” I sighed.    
  


“I know Kris, but you have to trust me. This is why we aren’t back to dating yet. We have to work on trust.”    
  


“I do trust you, it’s other hockey players I don’t trust.”    
  


“I don’t either, but I trust you, Geno, Jay, Sid, my cousins, Jared and his brothers and their teammates.” We ended the conversation shortly after so I could eat some food and try to get over my hangover.   
  


I was glad that Kris and I were working on things before we started dating again. After everything we have been through this past year, we didn’t want to jump into another relationship. And yes, even if we weren’t working our relationship, he did react like a boyfriend. Sometimes we seem to forget we aren’t dating yet. Unfortunately Kris had been put on IR. Which meant he hadn’t been playing, and I hated seeing him so down, so to speak. We weren’t in the same state, but I knew he was sad.   
  


He had to have surgery for an infection and it needed to be taken care of. I knew he felt so helpless, watching his team, especially with all the other more serious injuries and suspensions.    
  


“So..I could be back by the first game after the Christmas break.”    
  


“That’s great Kris. Now I get to see you and Brandon when I make the 2 hour drive up to Raleigh.” He knew I was making the trip regardless but he was so happy, I could hear it in his voice.   
  


The guys only had get through Ottawa. It was the 2nd round playoffs all over again, well it was the first meeting since the playoffs between them. Even though Kris wasn’t playing and we didn’t have Matt Cooke anymore, I was still worried. And I still had to figure out what Brett, Brandon and Brody were doing for Christmas. Brandon had to be in Carolina on Friday, and Brett and Brody had to be in Milwaukee on Friday. If I had to bet, I would say we were all staying in Charlotte.    
  


I had talked to Brandon and he said he was flying down.   
  


“Daddy won’t you come for Christmas? Uncle Darryl isn’t and neither is Uncle Brent. It’s only going to be Brett, Erin, Brandon, Brody and me oh and Kris, although we aren’t dating yet, I figured he could come since Brandon and Kris have to be in Carolina anyways.” I could hear him sigh.   
  


“Honey I’m not going to be there. I was hoping you guys would come home. All of your Uncles and I are having Christmas at Uncle Rich’s.” I was beyond stressed with figuring Christmas out and Kris and I.   
All I wanted was one Christmas together but nope, I knew being with my cousins was as good as I was going to get.   
  


“Fine dad. I’ll call you in a few days then. Love you”    
  


I sat at home, watching the Penguins game. Not even five minutes into the period and I was getting pissed. Duper was injured, with Sid crashing into him, although I can’t blame Sid. It wasn’t his fault. I’m just glad that Kris wasn’t playing this game. Nisky also went to the locker room but was fine, thankfully. All I wanted was this game to be over already. I turned off the game, and started making a list of what needed to be done before Christmas. I was doing all of the cooking. Luckily I had the sense to go get a turkey before now. I started to clean the apartment, and we needed to find places for everyone to sleep. And by everyone I meant Brandon. Despite my brother, Kris was going to stay in my room. Brett always got the pullout couch with Erin when they would get too drunk to go home. If needed, Brandon would sleep on the floor in Brody’s room.   
  


Tonight’s game was a nightmare and I felt so bad for Flower. I had managed to clean the apartment, and fell asleep, only to wake up to my phone ringing.   
  


“Hello?” I answered, sleepily.    
  


“Did I wake you?” I knew that voice.   
  


“Yes but I was cleaning. I’m sorry about tonight. Is Flower there? I’d like to talk to him.” It was Kris.    
  


“Yeah hold on.” I could hear yelling.   
  


“First off, I’m going to tell you what Vero is going to tell you. It wasn’t your fault. DON’T you dare blame yourself!” I said sternly. “But it is..” I stopped him.   
  


“Marc-Andre Fleury! Stop it right now! This is Estelle’s FIRST Christmas. You’re going to forget about tonight and focus on your wife and daughter!”He sighed.    
  


“I mean it Marc-Andre. Now give the phone back to Kris please"   
  


“So you and Brandon coming tomorrow?”   
  


“Yeah we should be there around 1.”    
  


“Alright, sounds good. I’m going to bed. Good night Kris.”   
  


Basically I had to make sure Brody and Brett didn’t mess up the apartment between now and Christmas. Yeah that was a job in itself. Luckily I made them stay at Jared’s tonight. I fell back asleep and finally slept through the night without any disturbances. I was able to wake up late, which was a good thing because I’d be cooking all day on Christmas and tonight too. I went to go pick them up at the airport, only to find out their flight was delayed. I could’ve been sleeping in. I sat there and listened to my ipod. Next thing I know, I feel two arms around me. I went to kick their ass, only to realize it was Kris.    
  


“Damn it Kris! I could’ve injured you more!” Brandon was laughing in the background.    
  


“Shut it Suttsy! Before I injure you!” I glared at him.   


Christmas came fast. I got up early to make breakfast for the boys and Erin. I figured I’d better let the boys sleep in. It was 10am and the breakfast casserole was in the oven, and I went to wake them up. They were hard to get up but I told them breakfast was almost ready and they shot out of bed. Any mention of food they are up and racing downstairs. We all ate at the table for once. Once they were finished and the dishes were done, they were chomping at the bit to open presents.   
  


I had given Brody a video and scrapbook of our memories up until this point, but most importantly, memories of our mom. Kris gave me a necklace and a promise ring. He promised me to always be faithful to me, always trust me, and to be a better boyfriend. I was about to tell him we aren’t dating, but he asked me to be his girl again. I caved and said yes. I had gotten Brett and Erin country concert tickets, or I was going to his summer once I knew who they wanted to see.

  
I made something special for Kris. It was something I knew would be special for the both of us. He knew he was getting his later. Brandon was hard, I never knew what to get him. I ended up getting him a big stuffed animal. Needless to say he busted out laughing. Brody gave me a charm bracelet with a hockey charm, Brett and Brandon gave me gift cards to Victoria’s Secret and the movies.    
  


Kris and I excused ourselves, and we went to my room. I pulled out his present, and watched him open it, tears filled his eyes.    
  


“Is this??” I sat next to him.    
  


“Yes. I thought you should have these, to see what our son would’ve looked like. He was the spitting image of you.” I had a few ultrasounds done, and had found out the sex. I put them in a album and put what would have been our son’s name.    
  


“You were going to name him Brian Allen Sutter?” He asked, looking at me, with sad eyes.   
  


"Yes. I figured he could have some part of you and I wasn’t about to have a junior.” I wiped the tears away from my own face.    
  


“Brie, this is the best present I’ve ever gotten.” He kissed me.   
  


“I wish..” I buried my head in his chest.   
  


“I know Kris, and I’m sorry. It’s my fault, we don’t have him. I was so stressed about keeping him from you that it was hurting him.” Kris kissed my forehead.    
  


“Shh it’s okay. There will be other chances for us to have a family. It was my fault I was stubborn and an ass. None of this is your fault, do you hear me?” I nodded.   
  


I loved Kris and I knew he was the one I was meant to be with. He always knew what to say.   
  



	22. Chapter 22

Taking it slow was hard. Especially when I knew we could pick things up where we left things before the whole fight. Christmas was so much fun, and I’m so lucky I got to spend it with my brother, some of our cousins and my boyfriend. Not many people can say they got to spend Christmas with their hockey playing boyfriend. I remember not even seeing my brother some Christmases and Canadian Thanksgiving because of the schedules.   
  


The next day was a chill day for all of us, because all the boys had a game tomorrow. We spent half the day at my place and then Brandon, Kris, and I drove up to Raleigh to meet the guys at the hotel. I hadn’t seen the Penguins in two months, since my miscarriage.    
  


“So…are you going to quick being lazy and score some goals?” I snuck up behind James.   
  


He turned around and picked me up threw me over his shoulder.    
  


“I’m not lazy!” I rolled my eyes.    
  


“Uh huh sure you aren’t. I’ve seen you play with Geno and this ain’t it.” He finally put me down. I wished these guys would see me as a friend and not some little sister.   
  


James, Geno, Paulie, Kris, Flower, Brandon and I all went out to dinner, meeting Jordan and his wife at the Carolina Ale House. Of course they all joked on Jordan, which was a relief to me.   
  


“So Flower, do you think you can let one go in if Jordy shoots it?” I asked knowing the answer.    
  


“No way I’m letting this fuck face score.” We 

all busted out laughing.    
  


“Seriously, Jordy you need to score on him.” I whispered. He chuckled.    
  


“I'll try my best Brie.” I missed Jordan, from when he was a Penguin to when Brett was on the Hurricanes. I didn’t get to see him much.   
  


The first period nothing major happened until the last second of the period. Andrej Sekera scored for the Hurricanes, with Jordy and Nathan assisting. Personally, I was impartial to who won. Only because my best friends, my cousin and my brother were all in the Hurricane’s system, and then my other cousin, and Kris were Penguins. All I asked the hockey God’s for was for no one to get injured. I was in the stands, against everyone’s wishes. Brandon, Jordan, Eric, and Kris all wanted me in the family suite with Tanya, Heather, Parker and Levi. Let’s just say, I lied to get my way. I told them I would go in the suite for the last period. It was the only way they’d let me be an actual fan.   
  


Dan and Kirk must have said something to the boys, because both teams came out, full force and with more contact. James got hit hard right in front of me, I was freaking out.    
  


“OMG! James! Please be okay. Please get up” As soon as he got up I was relieved and watched him carefully.    
  


I had to make sure he was skating well, and that he didn’t go to the locker room. 

Thankfully he got right back into the game and played like his normal self without Geno. The Penguins were all over Jordan. He couldn’t get a shot on goal. I wanted to go into the locker room and kick the Penguins’ asses for being all over Jordy. But I knew it wouldn’t do a bit of good so I waited until after the game. Sixteen seconds in to the 2nd period, Sid scored a goal on Petey, with the assists going to Jay and Olli. Fourteen seconds later, Nathan Gerbe shot one past Flower, with Semin getting the assist. I love Nathan but I wished it was Jordan, knowing what was about to go down later. There were some major hits going on in the 2nd period. James was getting a lot of chances but none of them going in. At the end of the 2nd period, the Hurricanes were leading the Penguins 2-1.   


In the 3rd period, was when it really got good. Both teams wanted the win. Almost two minutes in, Chris Conner scored the tying goal. Jussi Jokinen and Neal had the assists. I was so happy for James, getting 2 assists so far. About twelve minutes later, Engo scored the go ahead goal, assisted by Brooks Orpik and Jokinen, and I was so happy for him. This game was Brooksy’s first game back and he looked amazing, like he hadn’t missed a game. He looked confident and was back to his old self. Four minutes later, Drayson Bowman scored the tying goal. Poor Flower, he was so upset with himself. The clock began to wind down and we were headed into OT. A minute into OT, James went from basically near Flower, down center ice and scored the overtime goal. I was happy for him, it had been a while since he scored a goal.    
  


After the game, I went to the Hurricanes locker room.   
  


“Great game boys. Don’t give up, you played hard and I’m so proud of you.” I walked out and went right to the Penguins locker room, pissed off.    
  


“Alright boys! What the fuck was that?! You were all over Jordan! We all know he wouldn’t have been able to score on Flower. You’re so lucky you didn’t hurt him!” I was talking to all of the guys who had played with Jordan, and not the baby Pens, or the call ups that Ray decided to recall for all the injuries we have had.   
  


“By the way, great goal Jay.” I congratulated him and I walked out, without acknowledging Kris.    
  


I knew it wasn’t his fault, since he didn’t play but I was mad. Sidney, Geno, Flower and Jordan were all in Jordan’s car.   
  


“Calm down babe.” Kris came behind me, as we got on the bus.    
  


“I can’t..you know how I feel about what happened out there.” I knew for a fact Geno and Flower were going to get wasted.    
Sid, being Sid, wasn’t going to get drunk and Jordan was driving so I knew he wasn’t drinking. He knows better, and he knew he would be dead if he did get trashed and drove.   
  


The Penguins headed out early Saturday morning, to get to Columbus. Kris actually skated without a sling or anything, which was amazing. Honestly, we both wanted to pick up and be intimate with each other, but I knew we would be better in the long run as much as it killed me. I missed them already, as I drove back to Charlotte.    
  



	23. Chapter 23

About a week later, Brett was called up to the Hurricanes due to the injury of Riley Nash. He scored the game winning goal against the Islanders. I was so proud of him. Of course he wasn’t up long and thankfully he didn’t have to clear waivers this time. Brett played well, but I knew with Nash, Tlusty, and Eric Staal coming back from injuries that Brett and Chukie would be back. I felt so bad for Chukie, but at least he didn’t have to clear waivers either. I would’ve been more pissed if Chukie had to, and got claimed, then if Brett got claimed. Yes I know that sounds horrible, but with what Zach had been through last season, it would’ve been hard on all of us. Zach started off in Charlotte, then got claimed by Pittsburgh, and then Nashville, all to be claimed back by Carolina.    
  


The Olympic roster came out…I was sad that Kris wasn’t on it and I know he was devastated. I was happy for Sid, and of course Kuni. I couldn’t be more thrilled when I found out Kunitz had made it. However, this meant that Kris and I could spend two weeks together. As luck would have it, Brett, Brody, Jared and the Checkers were playing five home games during that time. So, that worked in our favor. We still had our hockey and we could spend time together, watching my brother, cousin and best friend play. As Bellemore was up with the Hurricanes.   
It was the Olympic break, and Kris and I had decided to take a trip just the two of us. We wanted some alone time to figure ‘us’ out and to be with each other, without anyone meddling. We threw up so many ideas, including Disney World, and Hawaii. We finally compromised on Key West. I was so excited. Two weeks in the sun with my man…it can’t get better than that. Oh yeah, and no big brother and nagging cousins. I couldn’t wait for the Olympic break to come. I needed out of Carolina, but not out as in home to Calgary.    
  


“What are you doing for the Olympic break baby sis?” Brody asked.   
  


“I don’t know yet…Kris and I hadn’t talked about it” We had, but I had no intentions of him. I knew him, Brett and Brandon would find an excuse to go with us.   
  


“Let me know when you do know..”    
  


“No Brody why do you want to know so bad?”   
  


“Because you’re my baby sister and I don’t like the idea of you and Kris alone. Not after last time.” I rolled my eyes.   
  


“Brody, it’s not like that anymore. Kris and I are taking it slow. I don’t plan on even sleeping in the same bed with him. So take a fucking chill pill.” I stormed out and called Kris.   
  


“I need to get out of here. Brody is driving me up a wall!!” I yelled into the phone.   
  


Kris laughed. “Babe calm down. He’s protective. If I had little sister as beautiful as you and if what happened between us happened to her, I’d be protective too.”   
  


“Not funny Kris. I mean it.. I can’t wait to be with you for two weeks. Away from hockey and everything”   
  


I started hearing some commotion, and that’s when I knew the guys were back, hanging out in Kris’ room.    
  


“Umm Kris? Where are the moms?” I asked curiously.   
  


“They’re shopping…” I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me.   
  


“Put me on speaker!” I demanded. I mean really? They would leave their mothers and do their usual?   
  


“I know James, Geno and Paulie are there..so, with that being said, Kris, James and Paul! You’re supposed to be spending time with your mothers! And don’t try to get out of it, I’ll know if you don’t go hangout with them after I hang up! And Geno, I know your mom isn’t there but you could help the other mom’s with their bags and keep those three in line.”   
  


They all grumbled. “Stop grumbling and go! I’d kill to have my mother back so go!” Kris grabbed his phone.   
  


“Alright, we are going. I love you and I can’t wait to see you.”   
  


“I love you too. Now have fun.”   
  


What am I up against? I loved Kris and the guys but sometimes, they were so dumb. The guys had a west coast roadtrip, and then were back home to play the Senators and off to play the Sabres before returning to play the Rangers all before the Olympic break. Needless to say, this week is going to go be VERY slowly.   



	24. Chapter 24

**Flashback** *   
  


The roadtrip, was a mom’s trip. I was glad that Kris’ mom was there. I had gone up to Pittsburgh to spend time with the team and Kris of course before the Olympic break. It was any ordinary day, Kris got up and was normal. I took a quick shower, while he was packing for the trip. I walked into the closet and that’s when I saw him. I started freaking out.    
  


“OMG! Kris! What happened?!” I said frantically.   
  


“I..I don’t know. All I remember is falling, and now I can’t feel anything.”   
  


“Alright, I have an idea.” I called Flower, since I wasn’t fluent in French yet. I explained to him what happened and put him on speaker.    
Kris thought he was out of the clear, and honestly I did too. Considering they all played while they were sick. I had gotten a notification via twitter that Kris had a maintenance day in L.A. I thought nothing of it, until I saw that Kris wasn’t in the Defensive pairs.   
  


“Are you alright babe?” I texted him because I knew the game was starting soon and he was with his mom.   
  


“Yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry.” He replied, but I could feel in my gut that it wasn’t.   
  


I let it go, and watched the game. We ended up winning 4-1, and yes I was falling asleep, as it was 10:00PM start for those of us who stayed in Pittsburgh. The next morning, they had practice in Phoenix. Again, I got word that Kris was ill and most likely out of the next night’s game. I called him right away. I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me, and I needed to know.   
  


“What is up with you? You’re ill, and don’t tell me? I know there is something going on. So you better fucking tell me Kristopher!” I didn’t mean for it to come out as yelling but I was beyond the whole keeping secrets because it’s for my own good.   
  


“I..we don’t know babe. If we knew, you’d be the first to know. I have to get more tests done when we get back to Pittsburgh. But I can assure you than I am fine now. It’s a precaution.”   
  


As soon as they got back home, Kris went to the doctors. They did all sorts of tests. In the end, I was scared to death. The results came back, and he had a stroke. He would have to miss six weeks at least, and be on blood thinners. Honestly, I’d be alright if he NEVER played hockey again. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about him every damn road trip.    
  


***End of flashback** *   
  


It was now the Olympic break, and boy was I glad for it. Kris needed a break, and I needed a break from my brother. Now, I loved my brother dearly, but a girl needs to be on her own without a ‘parental figure’ around. Kris and I left for Key West after their last game, for two weeks. We flew to Fort Lauderdale, and made the hour drive to Hawk’s Cay. We were able to get a house, which had three bedrooms, an upstairs and downstairs, and an ocean view. It was beautiful.    
  


We got in at 4am and boy were we tired. Kris and I went straight to bed, not even bothering to unpack. Afterall, we had two whole weeks, I think we could sacrifice most of the day to sleep. Plus, Kris needed to catch up on sleep and not worry about hockey for once. Once we got to the house that we were renting, we went in our room, got in our bed, Kris started kissing my neck.    
  


“No, not tonight babe. Sleep!” I groaned, rubbing my eyes.   
  


“We have two weeks to rest..”   
  


“You know I need my sleep! And if I don’t get sleep you know I can be a bitch, so I suggest we go to bed Kristopher.” He sighed and agreed, so we fell asleep.   
  


Waking up around noon, I realized we didn’t have any food in the house. Kris looked so exhausted so I wrote a note.    
  


“Kris, I went to the store. Be back soon. Love, Brie.”    
  


I grabbed various snacks, lunchmeat, bread, and chicken. I knew if we needed anything I could come back to the store. But I also knew Kris, he would want to go out to dinner almost every night. When I got home, Kris was already in his bathing suit.    
  


“Lunch first. Then we can go on the beach.” I shook my head. That man will be the death of me, walking around the house shirtless..   
I was scared to let Kris do anything strenuous, but he is a guy after all, and he did what he wanted.I carried the towels, umbrella, and cooler down to the beach. I was scared to let him do anything, even carry towels. He hated being treated like he couldn’t do anything for himself, and I couldn’t blame him. We were laying on the beach, when he picked me up, carried me in the water, and started dunking me.    
  


“Kris stop!”   
  


“You love it when I dunk you..”   
  


“Yes but babe you just had a fucking stroke. So, I’m sorry if I care about you and don’t want you to die! And don’t even fucking think about running Kristopher!” I glared at him, knowing what he was thinking, what he always did when he was frustrated.   
  


“I’m sorry.. I love you and it scares me.”   
  


“I love you too but I can do some things babe.”   
  


We stayed on the beach for a while, talking about everything from our future and what not. I was lucky to have a loving family behind me, and to have found the one I wanted to be with, to raise a family with for the rest of our lives. I guess you could say that fate had brought us together again and that the hockey Gods wanted us together.    
  
  



End file.
